Notes from a parish cat and his author Julie Mackenzie

My photo
I am Father Tom Fish, esteemed member of the religious team at Temptation of Christ Parish in the novels by author Julie Mackenzie. As to my background, I was invited into the rectory as a stray, laid on the charm, and was invited to stay, even honorarily ordained and no less spiritual than my sidekick Father Will. He dotes on me to high heaven and forgives all of my street cat proclivities, whatever the hell that means.

Friday, September 30, 2011

The Mighty Jungle

Does anybody have a tabletop lawnmower?

It's not easy living with greens up the purrtootie. Good intentions have turned into a mighty jungle. Give me a break! I can only eat so much grass!

I think I've been most appreciative. If you look closely, you'll see the jagged edges of my grazing. But, you know what? I came across a packet obviously with seeds left over which only means one thing: more grass later. Oh, gag me!!

I know who would love this grass--anybody have a goat..maybe a cow..or even a horsie???


Friday, September 23, 2011

Mr. Fixit

Well, I finally get to put my education at MIT (Mew I T) to good use.

Everything around here is falling apart and I just can't take it anymore.

Let's start with this cod-awful desk. From what I can see, we need to rejoin a couple of sections

It looks pretty stable otherwise (do I need a hardhat?)

Let's see, according to my calculations Mx{3.2-x%#4~)+C1|1/2@(y+5x)=m, it should hold together. Now where's my screwdriver?

There it is. Would you mind making me a mean, getting me a snack?

I don't know what I would do without Tom. He's the perfect Mr. Fixit!


Monday, September 19, 2011

Avast Ye Mateys, Look with Wonder Yonder

It's Meow Like a Pirate Day and I'm set to sail with thanks to Ann at Zoolatry for my pirate handsomeness hehehe!

Gather 'round now and let us sing a sea shanty to get us in the mood for plunderin'! ::burp::


We have ter stop confusin'
The whales fer lands we sea
The rounded humps way up ahead
Are not what they 'pear to be

And we have ter stop the old blind man
From his crow's nest post, ye see
Fer he's furrever 'lertin' everyone
To things that cannot be.

We fly the flag so proudly
Our black hearts wild and free
Wind through coats, salty air afloat
Sailing the waves, we be!

Wait--let me unscrew me peg leg for another little nip all around before we sing again..


Oooooohhhh.. we have ter stop confusin'...


Friday, September 16, 2011

My Better Side

I heard a guy on the radio the other day say we men, or mencats, still haven't gotten in touch with our feminine side and need to do so.

Just in case nobody's noticed, I can be sensitive and sweet-tempered.

I even recite poetry:

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Pigeons are tasty
Especially in stew.

There are those who say my life is a bed of roses

I even like lace on occasion

Not to mention a soft pillow with ruffles

Not all of us bench press. I like the smell of cologne. I knew one ladycat who really liked my eau de fur and would curl up in my spot when I walked away.

The question remains. Do I have a feminine side? Well, let's put it this way: when you snooze through life, you can never have too much lace.


Friday, September 9, 2011

What's This?

Somebody said we have too many cats on the internet. What, one cat per thousand humans? Anyway, being the nice guy that I am, I'll see what I can do. (hehehe)

To start with, we'll have to wake these up and tell them to move along..

Absolutely no more of these..

Ignore this one..

Even remove parts of cats..

(Did I put enough cats on to celebrate "Mo' Cats Day, everybody?) Yes! ::paw high five::

And, since we're having more cats, why not a few more of these?

Where's my hot sauce?


Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Wordless Wednesday

Courtesy Retrograph Archive, London/Martin Breese

Sunday, September 4, 2011

ML Means Love

I’ve added my comments to all of the other ones scattered around the CB in tribute to ML and all she does for us. That wasn’t enough for me, I wanted to do more, so I sharpened my quill (don’t ask where the rest of the bird is) and put together a tribute of my very own.

Here's a little rhythm and rhyme for the occasion:

(cue the CB orchestra)

From Father Tom to ML

I think I'll curl right up and find myself a letter,
I think I’ll pick an M to describe the Many ways
That ML of the CB makes things better;
We add an L which says she’s Loved these many days
With daily words on the CB
Providing news for you and me
We'll say a big thank you and never forget her!

ML, will you dance with me??


Friday, September 2, 2011

Something Wicked...

See these beautiful flowers? They came from the farmer's market, but that's where the trouble begins. They aren't domesticated flowers like the ones you get at Safeway or maybe the Shop 'n Go supermarkets. The ones you see here can't be trusted! (see my ears at one o'clock)

Out of the blue, they decide to sneak up on me. They get closer and closer...

My reaction is quick! I breathe my deadly mouse breath on one in particular...

Got him!