Monday, November 12, 2018

Mancat Monday Thoughts

Hi, everybody!

This has been a solemn weekend. Veterans Day was commemorated yesterday and the housekeeper captured me in my new recruit uniform (they even trimmed my head furs like they do in the real service.)



Of course, I never served, but I wish I had. So does the housekeeper, just setting aside a few years to give to one's country. She's too old now to get into a uniform and I'm a cat, so we're just going to appreciate those who did and do what we can, like volunteering. She went ahead already and got her clearance with complete background check to work with veterans come spring..Me? I might go along, if they let me.

So, all for now and now, for all - blessings and peace.

Tom


Monday, November 5, 2018

Putting Me to Work

This appeared in the church bulletin yesterday. I take umbrage with the "cheap" part.



The housekeeper thinks that if I'm such a mancat, I should be earning some money. She has farmed me out as an expert on how things should read. I grudgingly accepted my first assignment. What a disaster!

Here's a portion of what I had to correct until I gave up to save my sanity: (a letter presumably to some cat toy company by a parishioner who should go back to school)

Deer Slurs  To Whom It May Concern:

I bot  bought this Clap Trap Rat Trap cat toy online and it is crap. (We do not say crap when trying to fix the problem!!) Say: It is not functioning properly!! It wunt won't work. I tried  effrything  everything. I spent my last pennee penny..

It was at this point I became suspicious. I just KNOW some individual who shall remain nameless planted this letter to be funny. Wait till I get my paws on HIM OR HER!!

That's it. I'm done. No more practical jokes for me!!

Holy and smart,
Tom

Monday, October 29, 2018

Once Upon A Time

It's Monday. Mancat Monday. How many times have we done this???

The housekeeper is as daffy as they come. I really need to remind her that Monday is the day after Sunday, and a day that means a blog post from me.  All right. Forget about me. Just remember Mondays and the blog posts. In her defense, she's not in the rectory over the weekend, so she just waltzes back in here Monday morning, ready to hear the latest gossip, catch up on a few laughs, but not nearly ready to do her blogly duties.

Finally, she made her way into the office.

I think her idea of having me step in and provide my version of some of the fairy tales that are circulating around is a good idea. For instance:

Rapunzel didn't see the witch climbing up her long braid. She thought it was her handsome prince. From his cologne wafting upwards and my keen sense of smell, I always knew it was him. That day it was different, though. The witch had a scent more like onions, parsnips and walrus feces. After I finished with her, she never came back to bother my friend Rapunzel ever again. Me, a fairy tale hero!



In the following fairy tale, I saved my own butt, but actually by accident. The ogre I had to deal with turned himself into a mouse and I caught him! I didn't think he was very smart in the first place, so I didn't feel sorry for him, hanging onto his tail and eventually flinging him into a mud puddle.



As I purruse other fairy tales to improve upon, keep in mind that fairy tale happily ever afters apply to everyone - including my furry and human friends!

~ Tom

Monday, October 22, 2018

We Won! Look Out Palm Trees and Coconuts!

Hi, everybody!

I want to catch you all up on what happened last week and how it all ended. Good news - we won!
(after all, how could we not - I knew the judge, one of my best furriends, but only a pawful of people knew).

I've attached each day's activities here so you can see how things unfolded:







As they say, all's well that ends well.
Have a good week, everybody and watch those claws!

Tom

Monday, October 15, 2018

Incarcerated For No Reason

Hi, friends -

Is there any way I can live my life in peace? This is a parish. I am a clergyman who believes in prayer and minding my own business, and yet, I find myself arrested last night on charges of defacing church property.

It's an outrage, and the housekeeper wasn't even here to give them a piece of her mind.

The trial is unfolding this week. I have been remanded to the FurrCounty Jail which is horrible. I am innocent of all charges and I hope to find justice.

If you want to follow the day-by-day proceedings, go to http://www.facebook.com/FrTomFish

Here is what's circulating (between you and me, I know the judge. I hope she goes easy on me!):


Monday, October 8, 2018

Nursemaid and Mancat in the Same Sentence?

Hi, friends -

I have been tied up with a whining, incapacitated, helpless, fresh from hip surgery housekeeper who decided, since she's one of these Senior Orphans they call themselves, to recuperate at the rectory. I'm happy to say, though, that after ten days, she's up and around and, old Jack, swearing under his breath, is going to "unload her" at her place forthwith.

So, that's why I haven't posted anything. I've been busy. Please accept my excuses  apologies for being awol.

Autumn is here and the sun is a welcome friend after so many days of rain. I hope you get to enjoy a little peace and quiet among the drifting leaves and late afternoon shadows that seem to reach for the warmth we cats enjoy.

Should be back to normal next week.

Remember the words of our cat friend Colette: "What a wonderful life I've led. I wish I had realized it sooner."



Stay purry, my friends,
Tom

Monday, September 24, 2018

Getting Creeped Out

Hi, friends on this Mancat Monday!

I have to confess, sometimes I don't feel all that macho and I take this special day for us mancats to remind myself that I'm wise and strong. There are times, though, when I want to run and hide. Other times, I scratch my head (not for a flea) in puzzlement at some of the letters I get here at the rectory which give me the shivers. Like this one:


Here's what I said back (trying to be funny):



If some of these letters I've saved don't creep me out all over again, I'll share others the housekeeper has saved along with my letters back, She saves everything. It's a wonder she doesn't save my ... and sell them as holy relics!! Okay..okay.

Anyway, hope your Monday and the rest of the week goes well and remember: "Never be wide-eyed and scared when just a good hiss will do." 

Purrs,
Tom