A little of this 'n that this week:
As a cat, I'm able to sell anything.
Step right up ladies and gentlemen and I'll show you the creme de la creme, the once-in-a-lifetime, one of a kind, best of the rest..vehicle of your dreams! And--don't forget to help yourself to a little fried chicken and a beverage!
****
A man was teaching his wife to drive. As they were going down a hill, the brakes failed and she screamed, "Help! What do I do?" "Brace yourself," he replied, "and try to hit something cheap."
****
In the "Shouldn't This Be Working?" department:
We've had a problem with rodents. There are holes everywhere and the housekeeper decided to do something about it. Since predators' scents are a hot item in garden shops, she reasoned that seasoned (hehe) cat litter around the holes just might work. We tried it. The varmints are still around.
And, finally, to quote an old buddy of mine from a previous life, Walter Cronkite: "..and that's the way it is."
Have a good weekend, furriends!
--Tom
Notes from a parish cat and his author Julie Mackenzie
- Fr. Tom Fish
- I am Father Tom Fish, esteemed member of the religious team at Temptation of Christ Parish in the novels by author Julie Mackenzie. As to my background, I was invited into the rectory as a stray, laid on the charm, and was invited to stay, even honorarily ordained and no less spiritual than my sidekick Father Will. He dotes on me to high heaven and forgives all of my street cat proclivities, whatever the hell that means.
Friday, July 29, 2011
Friday, July 22, 2011
Lemonade and Snow
Tom.
Tom?
What?
How're you doing in all this heat?
It's awful.
My ears are sticking to my head.
Poor baby. I had an idea that might help you and your furriends stay cool. Are you game?
Sure.
We'll start with holy water on ice (it's lemonade).
Oooh, I feel cooler already.
Then, I want you to look at this picture while I share with you a poem by Robert Frost.
Stopping by the Woods on a Snowy Evening
Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
How's that?
It's purrfect!
Anybody want to borrow my mittens?
--Tom
Tom?
What?
How're you doing in all this heat?
It's awful.
My ears are sticking to my head.
Poor baby. I had an idea that might help you and your furriends stay cool. Are you game?
Sure.
We'll start with holy water on ice (it's lemonade).
Oooh, I feel cooler already.
Then, I want you to look at this picture while I share with you a poem by Robert Frost.
Stopping by the Woods on a Snowy Evening
Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
How's that?
It's purrfect!
Anybody want to borrow my mittens?
--Tom
Friday, July 15, 2011
Toes (Oh, Those?)
Friday, July 8, 2011
Tribute to a Friend
To the soft strains of Scheherazade and the quiet of contemplation, I write this. I'm not a cat who finds words to reach the soul so easily, but when my heart is wrenched wide open, it's the soul I turn to for comfort. You were a wise, old sage who knew the value of silence and the benefit of insight.
You made me laugh with that inevitable British humour (see, Whicky, I even spelled it your own distinctive way). You were one of the first to comment on my life, accept my little world and its stories I enjoy telling so much.
Speaking of stories, I want to reminisce a little, if I could. Here are some of your words of wisdom. A few cracked me up mercilessly, others were said so well I was content to read them over and over. I hope you don't mind my sharing.
_____________________________
February 19, 2010 A visitor didn't like me.
"The only animals to have a dark side are humans. Your delicious sprawl on the table.."
-You knew all about expressive gestures!
March 6 A post about being underfoot
"We have experienced the lumpen footfalls of the lumbering humans. We taught ourselves to herd humans mainly toward the kitchen where the food lives."
-I love the word "lumpen."
April 17 My windowsill post
"There's a slight glaze over your eyes that gives away your nip habit, but a little of what you fancy does you good. Give my regards to Vinny if he's about."
-Your later comments helped us reconcile.
May 29 When I wrote a post about female temptresses, one even sent a seductive photo
"Could you not contemplate even one small mutual grooming session with that very pretty ladycat?"
-'Mutual grooming?' Harhar, Whicky!
And, finally, the most thought-provoking comment of all, my furriends:
In June of last year, I had a post listing all of the things I would do before I died. Some were funny, others were more about purpose. Whicky's comment was the best.
"My dying wish would be for every human child to have an education in animal welfare."
Whicky, your words are our tribute. What we do to fulfill your wish is your legacy.
We love you.
--Tom
Friday, July 1, 2011
Fireworks
Oh. My. Cod. All sorts of news this week and fireworks to celebrate at the end!
The Pope tweeted on Twitter and we decided to follow him. Doesn't he look like a nice man? Loves cats, I heard. Nice chair. Great for cat hair.
My book is now official, launching in November, maybe sooner. I can't believe it--finally! This week, Julie signed on with Inkwater Press out of Portland, Oregon. I can count on my umpteen toes the times she said, "Be patient, my friend, any day now." There was much head scratching, which I enjoyed on my part. Then, we were ready to take the paw-lunge. Smoochies to Acquisitions Editor Sean Jones!
I totally know the work is just beginning. There's much to be done, including publicity photos. Here's one we could use. Don't I look good with a blue background? (No, Tom, you look better behind a bar.)
Cheers! Happy Fourth, everybody!
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