Notes from a parish cat and his author Julie Mackenzie

My photo
I am Father Tom Fish, esteemed member of the religious team at Temptation of Christ Parish in the novels by author Julie Mackenzie. As to my background, I was invited into the rectory as a stray, laid on the charm, and was invited to stay, even honorarily ordained and no less spiritual than my sidekick Father Will. He dotes on me to high heaven and forgives all of my street cat proclivities, whatever the hell that means.

Monday, July 29, 2019

Son of a Buzzard

Hi, everybody and all the ships at sea!

That first line has absolutely nothing to do with what I'm posting here today,
but I thought it had a nice ring to it.

I'll get right to the subject of our conversation. A certain feathered creature is driving me nuts. I won't show the hellish nuisance here, because that's just what that attention-seeking, loud, tree-perching son of a buzzard wants.

I'm sure you get the idea when I show you what he looks like:

Yes, a C-R-O-W..a Cat Razzing Overly Wicked bird.

Whoever drew him tried to sweeten it all up with flowers and a key, but let me tell you - crows don't keep their beaks closed long enough to hold anything! They squawk and squawk up in my trees and all my menacing looks just don't work! I'm at my wit's end!


If any of you have any suggestions on how to deal with them, let me know. The housekeeper will occasionally throw out some old bread and that has to stop! But, I don't think that's it. Maybe they have something to say to me? Bird is not a second language for me, unfortunately.

Trying to stay unflappable,
Tom


Monday, July 22, 2019

Lunar Logic

I'm always thinking.

For a cat, that's not a bad thing. There are some of us who believe in total action. Climbing here, clawing there, purring at all sorts of things.

I've always liked the expression "Love you to the moon and back" which is something that peeps have come up with.

Some peeps actually think it's too limiting. Why stop there? Keep going, mate and really express your feelings!!

Others ask why we don't just stop at the moon. It still conveys the sentiment. Besides, there was a lunar landing which peeps are celebrating. Any lunar trip is pretty special no matter how you look at it, I guess.

Here's my version just for us cats, having absolutely nothing to do with the moon at all.


We love in our own way.

Besides, there's too much love traffic going back and forth to the moon, anyway.

Tom

Monday, July 15, 2019

Cool Stuff..Kinda, Sorta, Maybe

Guess what!

I made a discovery just yesterday.
Did you know when you go to type "LOL" but you're at the wrong keys next to it, it comes out "KIK?"

Silly, I know, but I had to tell you. That's in case you didn't know already. Inquiring minds need to be satisfied, right?

And here's something: This weird happening with the housekeeper's and my silhouettes on the wall.


Now, I was in the far window and the sun, as bright as it was, cast my shadow on the far wall opposite. The housekeeper couldn't leave well enough alone. She had to stick her head up while sitting on the couch. Anyway, it looks like we're cuddling and I'm bigger than she is, KIK!!!!!

Shadows are fun, but this is just another instance where I notice the cool stuff and have to be the one to point it out.

Next time you're sunbathing, see if a shadow is sitting behind you!

Next time I'll be Batman,
Tom

Monday, July 8, 2019

Housekeeper Gets Wigged

Hey, guys -

You're not gonna believe what happened. The housekeeper is so mad!
I've never seen her this crazy and here, I thought I was doing her a favor.

You see, it's shedding season right now. I'm gagging on my fur when I groom myself, throwing up furballs all over the place. The housekeeper felt sorry for me and started giving me major brushings and combings and before you know it, there's this pile of fur. And, that's not even all of it. There's a mat I wouldn't let her near. Too ticklish. So, there'll be more.


Can you believe all this came from my hide? I swear I'm ten pounds lighter.

She said she would send it off to a place that turns fur into yarn and get a sweater made. I thought that was great; I thought we could stuff a pillow and make a nice soft one. But, before I made that suggestion, I had a funny thought.

But I didn't tell her.
I started to giggle...

Listen! Yeah! It could be a wig! A wig for the housekeeper! I can see this pile on her head now, hahahaha!!
She must have sensed I was up to no good and got all mad. She thinks I'm laughing at her. Well, most of the time, I am.

Hey, all seriousness aside, if you think it'll make a nice wig, you let me know, ok? I want to donate it to a worthy cause and her head is as good as anything I can think of.

Sincerely flipping over a wig,
Tom

Monday, July 1, 2019

Stir Crazy

Hi!!!!!

When rabbits decide to get on airplanes, where do they fly out of??

O'HARE!!!

Silly me.

So, howya been?

I'm just trying to keep my sanity. The idea of taking a trip has me thinking. Do you ever get bored with the same routine day after day? Even though our humans do everything they can to make us happy, give us toys, places to sleep and climb and open the windows for heavenly whiffies, it can get a little depressing.

It was raining. Of course, that doesn't help and even though I stay on church grounds, I don't go out when pelting raindrops muss my furs. So one rainy day, I made it a point to log in my activity. Boy, was it dull! Windows closed, no sun and nothing special. Even people don't come to visit. Smells 24 hours old can get dull. So, there's not even that.

Sometimes I spice things up in my mind with a little creative imagination about where I might be or who I might be, but that doesn't happen all the time and I share with you most of that stuff. Here's a perfect example..me a race car driver winning races and smelling good for the ladies!

Vroooom! Vroooom!

This is the life!


How do you spice ...ahem, up rainy days??

Smelling manly,
Tom