Notes from a parish cat and his author Julie Mackenzie

My photo
I am Father Tom Fish, esteemed member of the religious team at Temptation of Christ Parish in the novels by author Julie Mackenzie. As to my background, I was invited into the rectory as a stray, laid on the charm, and was invited to stay, even honorarily ordained and no less spiritual than my sidekick Father Will. He dotes on me to high heaven and forgives all of my street cat proclivities, whatever the hell that means.

Monday, November 26, 2018

Cruisin' With Will or I'll Never Live It Down

Happy Mancat Monday, furry folk!

It might be mancat Monday today, but I didn't feel very mancatish on Saturday when Will wanted to take his car out. Usually parked in the church parking lot and covered up to a fare-thee-well by the meticulous asp that he is, I had forgotten the embarrassment of it all. So, off we go, me sinking down in the seat with every sighting of humans or even cats for that matter.

See what I mean? Would you be caught dead in this pink marshmallowy, over-chromed, toothy grilled, poor excuse for a vehicle? The "Pink Pew" my paw!!

Anyway, it's Monday and I'm back to my normally very mancat self and all's good. The candy-coated, pink icinged, powder puff car is back under its tarp where it belongs. The next time Will gets that venturesome gleam in his eye, remind me to make myself scarce!

Recovering from dis-grace,

Tuesday, November 20, 2018

Early Thanksgiving Frenzy

Hey, sports fans! (or not) ~

With Thanksgiving this week, you would think a tornado hit the rectory. We have turkeys coming out of our @#$% ears, stuffing everywhere, the reverends in a heated discussion over jellied cranberry sauce versus cooked berries and the housekeeper has started her Christmas shopping. Next thing you know Santa won't be driving a sleigh with reindeer, he'll have turkeys instead! It's crazy!

I've always had this thing about hiding and secrets. A cat doesn't like secrets. Humans have to understand that closed doors make us nuts, strange noises or smells are unsettling and not to know what's freshly purchased in an obvious department store bag is the ultimate exercise in teasing.

So, if there are going to be Christmas purchases, let them remain hidden for the sake of my sanity, please!

All for now. Holy man over and out!


Monday, November 12, 2018

Mancat Monday Thoughts

Hi, everybody!

This has been a solemn weekend. Veterans Day was commemorated yesterday and the housekeeper captured me in my new recruit uniform (they even trimmed my head furs like they do in the real service.)

Of course, I never served, but I wish I had. So does the housekeeper, just setting aside a few years to give to one's country. She's too old now to get into a uniform and I'm a cat, so we're just going to appreciate those who did and do what we can, like volunteering. She went ahead already and got her clearance with complete background check to work with veterans come spring..Me? I might go along, if they let me.

So, all for now and now, for all - blessings and peace.


Monday, November 5, 2018

Putting Me to Work

This appeared in the church bulletin yesterday. I take umbrage with the "cheap" part.

The housekeeper thinks that if I'm such a mancat, I should be earning some money. She has farmed me out as an expert on how things should read. I grudgingly accepted my first assignment. What a disaster!

Here's a portion of what I had to correct until I gave up to save my sanity: (a letter presumably to some cat toy company by a parishioner who should go back to school)

Deer Slurs  To Whom It May Concern:

I bot  bought this Clap Trap Rat Trap cat toy online and it is crap. (We do not say crap when trying to fix the problem!!) Say: It is not functioning properly!! It wunt won't work. I tried  effrything  everything. I spent my last pennee penny..

It was at this point I became suspicious. I just KNOW some individual who shall remain nameless planted this letter to be funny. Wait till I get my paws on HIM OR HER!!

That's it. I'm done. No more practical jokes for me!!

Holy and smart,