Notes from a parish cat and his author Julie Mackenzie

My photo
I am Father Tom Fish, esteemed member of the religious team at Temptation of Christ Parish in the novels by author Julie Mackenzie. As to my background, I was invited into the rectory as a stray, laid on the charm, and was invited to stay, even honorarily ordained and no less spiritual than my sidekick Father Will. He dotes on me to high heaven and forgives all of my street cat proclivities, whatever the hell that means.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

My First of the Season

No, he's not sleeping.

I am feeling a little triumphant today, even if it is Sunday, a day of rest. In the wee hours when all was quiet, I heard a sound all too familiar this time of year: the sound of intruders on little feet, venturing where they think a church cat is too much the reverend to give in to baser instincts.


A cat is still a cat, even if he's wearing a roman flea collar and this little guy was toast before you could say Hail Mary. I did ask myself what I was doing after the first pounce, but for him, that's all it took.  I gave him his last rites and left him for the priests to find this morning.

"Well, well, well," I heard coming from the bathroom.

"I'm proud of you, Tom. We don't want them getting in and chewing things up in the rectory," said Will.

No we don't, I thought.

The beauty of this is, with one trophy, nobody'll be too concerned about the mice. The little critters will get the word, smell me and high-tail it somewhere else. Maybe over to the condos. For those of you who don't know, the condos are located in what used to be the parish school. You might remember Vinny lives over there.

I better remind him to sharpen his mouse-catching skills!


Friday, September 24, 2010

Refreshing Paws the windowsill for the blue lagoon..

I'm still dreaming about the tropic isle that swept me away in a pirate fantasy last weekend. As you can see, I made a pretty friend during my romp and, after I found me peg leg (I'm still talking with a seafarin' accent), I decided to have a little fun and play hide and seek. Well, here she is--hiding her face, figuring I wouldn't see her. I pretended not to and found myself leaving pawprints on her belly button as I crossed over to the tiki bar.

One thing that isn't a fantasy is my Versatile Blogger Award given to me by Cathy Keisha. I am so pleased and proud to receive it. Actually, she received it first from Mariodacat and was quick to find others to share it. That was so sweet!  

Have a good weekend!


Thursday, September 16, 2010

Pirate Day

Boy, am I excited!

I get to go on a pirate ship, a pirate ship, a pirate ship
I get to go on a pirate ship, hidey-hodey, hay!
I get to talk like a pirate, too and join all my friends for a great day thanks to:
The Meowers from Missouri--yay!


I told them: Ye be needin' a chaplain on the pirate ship to help the poor souls facin' the plunge from the plank and I be handy fer makin' sure there be soul cleansin's after every raid, and to bless booty.

Ooooh, that be the best part, maateys! Blessin' all da booty me sees hauled onto da ship! Make no mistake--I'll take booty glitterin' or shakin'---harrrrrty harr harrrr!

Aye, mateys,  a jolly roger good time!

     --Pirate Tom

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Gone A-Visiting

One of my favorite things to do is the home visit. It gets me out of the rectory for the day and I couldn't be happier. As you can see, I can nap anywhere.

Seeing people is when the flying cage actually becomes a good thing. I get packed into it and Will and I take off to make our rounds. When it's Will who gets out the carrier, I know it's a home visit because he never takes me to the vet. That's the housekeeper's job.

While Will has tea and hears a confession, I have myself a nappray. That's a nap and a prayer as you can see with my little woofie friend. Will teases me about these visits when they involve dogs, but I haven't been scared by one yet. It's usually the dog owners who give me real food like ham and cheese because they don't have cat treats.

This is going to be a busy weekend as we start getting into fall. It's my favorite time of the year!

Blessings, everyone!


Friday, September 3, 2010

Is Nothing Sacred?

One of Mary Lou's favorite candies is the dark chocolate nonpareil. If you ever want to get on her good side, then you might want to get a bag of the little chocolate yummies for her. You know the ones I mean.

This is an embarrassing story to tell, but tell it I must. 

One day, while she was sifting through my catbox leavings, Will rather thoughtlessly and I think to be funny, pointed out that they looked like nonpareils, lightly dusted with the colored granules of litter. At first, Mary Lou didn't know what he meant. He, being the verbal klutz that he is, felt obligated to explain.  She was horrified and got so unbelievably mad. Of course, I heard all about it from Will when he couldn't sleep because he felt so terrible about what he said.
She's not thrilled to have to clean up after me anyhow, but to have my haphazard, half-buried deposits tastelessly referred to as looking like her favorite candy was too much. She refused to speak to Will for the longest time and only opened up after one of the Temptation Nine meetings when the subject was foot-in-mouth incidents and he took the opportunity to confess (now there's a switch).

I was there and saw it all. It was like a wave, all heads turned toward Mary Lou who stumbled all over herself, saying how sorry she was for over-reacting. They hugged and then Will gave her a box of homemade nonpariels the size of silver dollars which made her cry.

All of this stress gave me the worst case of constipation ever.
Hope I didn't gross everybody out too much. --Tom