Notes from a parish cat and his author Julie Mackenzie

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I am Father Tom Fish, esteemed member of the religious team at Temptation of Christ Parish in the novels by author Julie Mackenzie. As to my background, I was invited into the rectory as a stray, laid on the charm, and was invited to stay, even honorarily ordained and no less spiritual than my sidekick Father Will. He dotes on me to high heaven and forgives all of my street cat proclivities, whatever the hell that means.

Monday, November 5, 2018

Putting Me to Work

This appeared in the church bulletin yesterday. I take umbrage with the "cheap" part.



The housekeeper thinks that if I'm such a mancat, I should be earning some money. She has farmed me out as an expert on how things should read. I grudgingly accepted my first assignment. What a disaster!

Here's a portion of what I had to correct until I gave up to save my sanity: (a letter presumably to some cat toy company by a parishioner who should go back to school)

Deer Slurs  To Whom It May Concern:

I bot  bought this Clap Trap Rat Trap cat toy online and it is crap. (We do not say crap when trying to fix the problem!!) Say: It is not functioning properly!! It wunt won't work. I tried  effrything  everything. I spent my last pennee penny..

It was at this point I became suspicious. I just KNOW some individual who shall remain nameless planted this letter to be funny. Wait till I get my paws on HIM OR HER!!

That's it. I'm done. No more practical jokes for me!!

Holy and smart,
Tom

8 comments:

Brian's Home Blog said...

Oh rats, that's not good!

The Island Cats said...

That wasn't a very good joke, Tom. You're too smart for them.

Eastside Cats said...

The hoi polloi always try to pull a fast one, Tom!

Catscue Catmom said...

You're an amazing editor - I'd ask for a raise.

Melissa, Mudpie and Angel Truffles (Mochas, Mysteries and Meows) said...

Cheap? That's just insulting!

Memories of Eric and Flynn said...

How rude to call you cheap! She could at least have put sensational value for the very best!

da tabbies o trout towne said...

dood....well, frank lee; we canna commint two much on spellin izzuez....ya noe !!!! ;) ♥♥

Cathy Keisha said...

HAH! For a moment, I thought it might be … oh rats, TW told me not to get political.