Notes from a parish cat and his author Julie Mackenzie

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I am Father Tom Fish, esteemed member of the religious team at Temptation of Christ Parish in the novels by author Julie Mackenzie. As to my background, I was invited into the rectory as a stray, laid on the charm, and was invited to stay, even honorarily ordained and no less spiritual than my sidekick Father Will. He dotes on me to high heaven and forgives all of my street cat proclivities, whatever the hell that means.

Friday, November 19, 2010

A Pat-Down Warning

I'm ready!

I haven't been scanned yet, nor have I received the once-over, but if I have to show all, I want the world to know that I would willingly expose myself--wait a minute, that didn't sound right--for the health, safety and well-being of everyone, especially lady cats.


Even if my nubbies are gone, I am neither embarrassed nor ashamed to be patted down, inside legs and all. By the way, I am very ticklish right in the groin area, so I would advise all TSA members sporting badge and rubber glove to avoid it altogether. Should that area inadvertently be approached and/or fondled, I will engage in an immediate reaction involving four legs, claws, hissing for effect, and pointed teeth. There are no guarantees of survival.

So, it must be kept in mind the concept of cautious cooperation. I'll cooperate as long as they are cautious!

--Tom

16 comments:

Katnip Lounge said...

Mommy would happily volunteer to pat you down!
And rub your tummy, and scratch behind your ears, and...well, you get the picture!

Summer at sparklecat.com said...

My human is having to fly out of JFK Sunday night, and she is considering telling TSA if they try to touch her in certain places she will hiss at them and maybe scratch. But she doubts they have a sense of humor...

Hannah and Lucy said...

Mum laughed when she read what you would do if frisked!!

Cindy said...

I wish I could see it happen!

Brian's Home Blog said...

I think those doing the screening are in for one heck of a surprise! Have a great weekend!!!

Gattina said...

Although your belly is a real temptation, I understand, because all my 4 cats hate that too !

Cathy Keisha said...

Whoa! Are you flying in to visit moi? If so, I highly recommend scratching and biting. It certainly makes me feel good! xoxo

KimT said...

Hi! Found you through the hop, and very happy to meet you. Will there be media coverage of the event? Bet everyone would love to watch what happens to TSA personnel...bol...Will be following :)

The Island Cats said...

Hey, if a pat down involves lots of pets, then we're okay with that! But don't touch our feets!! We don't like that!

Cara n Crew said...

Mol! You are silly, Tom. You'll have all the girl kitties lining up to pat you down with that picture :)...shoot, the beans too! Have a great week!

Pip, Smidgen, Minnie

Bengal Duo ~ Zulu and Deene said...

If you get frisked do you get frisky? MOL You do look very soft, hope you had a nice nap PURRS2u

The Florida Furkids said...

Oh gee...Mom is MOL @ that post!!

The Florida Furkids and Angel Sniffie

Pup Fan said...

Stopping by on the blog hop... too funny!

Mr Puddy said...

Heee...hee... Tom, the warning never work with my dad...You are better run or take it with pleasure : )

OKcats said...

Father Tom, we both love to show our bellies, too! But only one of us allows it to be touched.... here's a hint - it's the weird one.

Your (not weird) friend, Fuzzy

Fr. Tom Fish said...

Thanks so much for your comments, dear ones! Yes, the pat-downs continue to be an issue. Now, the men are protesting with kilts...hehehe..you know Scots don't wear anything under those dratted things..

Ever yours hale and haarrrty,
Tom MacCat