Wednesday, November 15, 2017

How Time Flies!

Oh, my stars, have I neglected this blog for such a long time, since June!
I can't believe it.

Now I'm trying to think of all that's happened to distract me from my blogging duties:

The housekeeper moved. She never lived in the rectory, anyway, so it didn't affect me, but I heard all about it. People living in the condos next door started moving around, too, for some reason. One person moved up on the third floor and another dropped to the garden level. I just can't keep track, but I do try to keep my nose in all things.
(in between naps, confessions, Masses and homage paid by fans..)

Ahhh....Father Will's throw, soft and makes me mellow.


Anyway, the holiday season is coming up and before I get out my jingle bells and the turkey gets baked, I wanted to say hello. That's if anybody's still out there..

Hellllooooooo!! Oh, bless you. One person! Nevermind, just the mailman.

~ Purr. If you can't purr, smile.

Tom

Saturday, June 3, 2017

OH, MY SAINTED AUNT OR HOW NOT TO AGE GRACEFULLY

Going through some old photos of me in my younger years, I came across my fresh out of seminary photo of me flush with youth:






All bright-eyed and bushy tailed and not one confession under my belt yet. Today, I'm a hardened priest, heard all the sins of the world and want to shut my eyes and shake my head at most of them.

I think I can share this confessional story because it happens every once in awhile. Someone comes in and I wait and wait..."Bless me, Father..then, silence. "I forgot my sins, Father Tom. I had them all memorized so I wouldn't forget them. Once I even wrote them on the inside of my cuff except I couldn't spell a name I called somebody."

"Do you remember it now?" I asked. "If you do, whisper it in my ear." I lean forward. This is the most excitement I've had all day.

I listen. Holy carp. It was quite the sin-filled name.

That was his only contribution to his weekly wrap-up of unholy transgressions.

"Any more sins?" I ask, hopefully.

"Sorry, I can't think of any more," he confesses..

"There's always next time," I say.

"Ok."

Lots of people forget or they get tongue-tied or they have no sins to confess but come to see me anyway.

I just can't keep people away, nor would I want to. They love me. Except when I have to mete out penance. Then, I'm a ... the name my young friend couldn't remember.

Sins have a way of aging people. Just hearing them has made me age ten years and dirtied my paws.

Have your sins catapulted anyone toward old age lately?




Sunday, March 26, 2017

A FRIGHTMARE

This is the coup de grouse..

No stress-free Lent for this cat, this four-footed, roman-collared, bewhiskered man of God..or is it Cod?

Anyway..so I'm sleeping, having a nice Lenten dream, when all of a sudden, I feel the earth move.
Everything's moving..I'm moving..I'm being flung?

I'm not where I was! I don't know where I'm going! I don't trust men in mustaches! He better be careful!

As soon as I figure out what the heck is going on, I'll let you know.



Friday, March 10, 2017

The Housekeeper Decides to be Funny

Do you think I could be left in peace with my stress-free existence?

Have there been cats on the moon?

The answer to both questions is, "NO."

The housekeeper just woke me with this face. Her overall look is bad enough with spider-webby hair and the scent of casserole and catnip, but now I have a clown wannabe.



Look at her! I could barely stop purrgling (that's giggling and purring at the same time) After all, I can't sleep these 40 days and nights away, can I?

Besides, *sniff* *sniff* is that baked mahi-mahi I smell??


Wednesday, March 8, 2017

International Women's Day or How I Slept Through It



Friends, I'm still asleep and I hope I don't awaken too soon. It is a blissful rest and I would highly recommend it, especially the dreams.

But, I do have a question:

Is it possible to dream that you took a nap? Of course, it confuses things and brings everything to a screeching halt, but not too loud. It would wake me!  Sshhhh....!




Tuesday, March 7, 2017

The Best Lent Ever but Can It Last?

 Friends,

The last thing I remember is falling asleep on a toadstool in my quest for a life without stress, or at least the next 40 days and nights without being cursed with living on the edge.

It must have been a magic mushroom because I find myself on a long road with a house in the distance. I don't really know where I am, but it doesn't matter because I love each step. The light through the trees dipped in shadows that undulate over my furs..aaahhhhh. It's wonderful! Even where I'm headed looks peaceful and serene--and mysterious!




THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED for CATS

If your path is bumpy and full of snails
Find a road less traveled by us with tails
Whiskers discover too much, it's true
Never for our own good, a witch's brew.

When humans shocked at how they fray
We know they need a holiday
We need one even more, I say
Snoozing aside, let's not delay!

If we should dream like I'm doing today
I know everything's going to be okay
With a path flickering with sun and birds
You can bet I'm thinking the following words:

This might be the best Lent ever!

Monday, March 6, 2017

Father Tom in Wonderland

Sshhhh!

Don't let Alice wake me. She tends to be loud. You have no idea what it took to get that caterpillar off here so I could find a minute's peace.






Lent? So far, so good. Had a couple of hair-raisers, but things are smoothing out.

I hope I'm not speaking too soon.