Once Upon A Time

It's Monday. Mancat Monday. How many times have we done this???

The housekeeper is as daffy as they come. I really need to remind her that Monday is the day after Sunday, and a day that means a blog post from me.  All right. Forget about me. Just remember Mondays and the blog posts. In her defense, she's not in the rectory over the weekend, so she just waltzes back in here Monday morning, ready to hear the latest gossip, catch up on a few laughs, but not nearly ready to do her blogly duties.

Finally, she made her way into the office.

I think her idea of having me step in and provide my version of some of the fairy tales that are circulating around is a good idea. For instance:

Rapunzel didn't see the witch climbing up her long braid. She thought it was her handsome prince. From his cologne wafting upwards and my keen sense of smell, I always knew it was him. That day it was different, though. The witch had a scent more like onions, parsnips and walrus feces. After I finished with her, she never came back to bother my friend Rapunzel ever again. Me, a fairy tale hero!

In the following fairy tale, I saved my own butt, but actually by accident. The ogre I had to deal with turned himself into a mouse and I caught him! I didn't think he was very smart in the first place, so I didn't feel sorry for him, hanging onto his tail and eventually flinging him into a mud puddle.

As I purruse other fairy tales to improve upon, keep in mind that fairy tale happily ever afters apply to everyone - including my furry and human friends!

~ Tom

We Won! Look Out Palm Trees and Coconuts!

Hi, everybody!

I want to catch you all up on what happened last week and how it all ended. Good news - we won!
(after all, how could we not - I knew the judge, one of my best furriends, but only a pawful of people knew).

I've attached each day's activities here so you can see how things unfolded:

As they say, all's well that ends well.
Have a good week, everybody and watch those claws!

Tom

Incarcerated For No Reason

Hi, friends -

Is there any way I can live my life in peace? This is a parish. I am a clergyman who believes in prayer and minding my own business, and yet, I find myself arrested last night on charges of defacing church property.

It's an outrage, and the housekeeper wasn't even here to give them a piece of her mind.

The trial is unfolding this week. I have been remanded to the FurrCounty Jail which is horrible. I am innocent of all charges and I hope to find justice.

If you want to follow the day-by-day proceedings, go to http://www.facebook.com/FrTomFish

Here is what's circulating (between you and me, I know the judge. I hope she goes easy on me!):

Nursemaid and Mancat in the Same Sentence?

Hi, friends -

I have been tied up with a whining, incapacitated, helpless, fresh from hip surgery housekeeper who decided, since she's one of these Senior Orphans they call themselves, to recuperate at the rectory. I'm happy to say, though, that after ten days, she's up and around and, old Jack, swearing under his breath, is going to "unload her" at her place forthwith.

So, that's why I haven't posted anything. I've been busy. Please accept my excuses  apologies for being awol.

Autumn is here and the sun is a welcome friend after so many days of rain. I hope you get to enjoy a little peace and quiet among the drifting leaves and late afternoon shadows that seem to reach for the warmth we cats enjoy.

Should be back to normal next week.

Remember the words of our cat friend Colette: "What a wonderful life I've led. I wish I had realized it sooner."

Stay purry, my friends,
Tom

Getting Creeped Out

Hi, friends on this Mancat Monday!

I have to confess, sometimes I don't feel all that macho and I take this special day for us mancats to remind myself that I'm wise and strong. There are times, though, when I want to run and hide. Other times, I scratch my head (not for a flea) in puzzlement at some of the letters I get here at the rectory which give me the shivers. Like this one:

Here's what I said back (trying to be funny):

If some of these letters I've saved don't creep me out all over again, I'll share others the housekeeper has saved along with my letters back, She saves everything. It's a wonder she doesn't save my ... and sell them as holy relics!! Okay..okay.

Anyway, hope your Monday and the rest of the week goes well and remember: "Never be wide-eyed and scared when just a good hiss will do." 

Purrs,
Tom

I Be Nobody's Fool

Every time I get mad at the housekeeper, she redeems herself with some sappy, I-love-you-cuddles kinda stuff. I don't know what else to call it. I get treats, too, so eventually all is forgiven. What? Am I stupid? It's a game we play. Sometimes it gets completely out of hand, though.

Like with this. I decided to get really mad. I hadn't been upset with her shenanigans in awhile I realized, so I put on the furious, helpless pout I'm very good at.

Well, I got my message across and she swore she would never make fun of me again. I know that's a lie. It's also a sin, but I know she only goes to confession with Father Jack and probably makes up stuff just so we can hear him laugh all through the church when she's behind the curtain.

Oh, woe is me! What I have to put up with! This is just one example. There are many more, I assure you!

By the way, last I heard, the wanted poster went up on Facebook for all the world to see. I was shocked! I finally recovered and came up with suitable payback. I think I'll hurl on one of the dining room chairs for when her church ladies come over for lunch! I can see it now: all that happy chitchat, yack-yack, smiles and one of them sits down...hahahahaha!

Faithfully unthwarted,
Tom

A Stellar Weekend: How Was Yours?

Hey, guys!

I know, I skipped last Monday. I think it was a holiday and I was off somewhere, I don't even remember. Truth be told, I was probably on my cushion imagining all sorts of things. That's how I roll.

So, anyway, I want to tell you about my birthday. Now, you wouldn't think it would make biblical history, but I managed to have a celebration party amongst the Man and his disciples. Between you and me, I don't know how He can stand having them around. They're rowdy. Rude, and incapable of feeling other than for themselves. I don't have to tell you. Talk about "friends in low places!" I apologize for the fuzziness of the photo. Cameras weren't that good back then.

This was after I blew out the candle, my wish being they would all disappear in a puff of smoke, but it didn't happen. I wanted the good Lord all to myself, but I guess it was not to be.

I might have had a birthday disappointment, but friends on Facebook, in the rectory and the rest of the parish more than made up for it with their good wishes. I turned 10, a milestone they tell me. Gettin' to be an old man, but I couldn't be happier.

So, if you have a birthday coming up at some point, have a blast, gather all your friends and loved ones around, and enjoy special treats. Just don't invite any disciples!

Your crusty old soul,
Tom