Notes from a parish cat and his author Julie Mackenzie

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I am Father Tom Fish, esteemed member of the religious team at Temptation of Christ Parish in the novels by author Julie Mackenzie. As to my background, I was invited into the rectory as a stray, laid on the charm, and was invited to stay, even honorarily ordained and no less spiritual than my sidekick Father Will. He dotes on me to high heaven and forgives all of my street cat proclivities, whatever the hell that means.

Monday, May 11, 2020

A Dirty Little Secret

Hi there!! How is everybody?

Whew! Well, it's finally out for all the world to see. Bridget's dirty little secret.
She has been terrorizing one of the chairs in the living room. The housekeeper has kept it out of sight for the most part, but it's getting so bad, it's really hard to hide.


Now, I'll have you all know that there are three scratchers not three feet away from this and I use them all the time, along with a scratcher holding up a perch by the window. Do you think she would use any of those? Course not!! This chair has become her claws-down favorite and from the looks of things, she's not letting up any time soon.

Since the housekeeper spends a lot of her time in the living room near the chair, you might ask when this carnage is committed. It happens early in the morning and goes like this:

Bridget goes upstairs and tries to get the housekeeper up. It's around 4am. No luck.
Comes down, heads for the chair, scratch, scratch, scratch is heard upstairs. The housekeeper is livid, but won't get out of bed.

She goes up again and purrs and taps the housekeeper who now pretends to be asleep. No luck.
That darn wench goes back downstairs..you guessed it..scratch, scratch..scratch (and a little "take that" said under her breath).

The housekeeper finally gets up, angry as a wet hornet, ready to kill.

Now, a little backstory. The chair was supposed to go to the dump before we left Maryland. We were told to knock ourselves out, scratch all we wanted because we weren't taking it with us.  It obviously never made it to the dump and Bridget has never forgotten. Fortunately, it's the only chair she's taken to for her free-for-all efforts!

I guess instead of grabbing Bridget to go to rehab, we'll just have to let nature take its course!

~TOM


13 comments:

Memories of Eric and Flynn said...

Bridget obviously loves her chair and knows how to get the housekeeper moving in the morning!
At least she is faithful to the one chair.

Eastside Cats said...

Tom, that would be UNFAIR to have first given you both permission to destroy that chair, then to have it rescinded!
Celestial Angel and Chuck used to scratch at the huge, old 70's stereo speakers of The Hubby's, and it made really interesting noises! Modern speakers are much better, and not so ugly...

Catscue said...

MOL! What a morning routine! We gave up buying nice furniture and just cover everything up with blankets. Cats have a way of keeping things real, don't they?

Greg_1948 in_WA said...

Best the chair be now known as Bridget's Chair. Maybe she won't bother any other furniture. (wishful thinking)

Furries said...

Oh, I think it's great that Bridget has chosen the appropriate chair to scratch. It might need recovering after she wears it out, just so she doesn't turn her claws elsewhere. My Felix was very good about using his scratchers, but he loved to sink his claws into the top edge of my box spring. He didn't scratch, he'd just hook his claws in and stretch his body. It must have been the perfect position for him. I decided the puncture marks were worth it for him to be happy.

Brian's Home Blog said...

That really is some pretty creative shredding sweet Bridget!

The Island Cats said...

Bridget has made her mark on that chair!

da tabbies o trout towne said...

dood....we thinked for sure yur post waz gonna be that ya went out side N rolled in sum mud N ya sneeked bak inn side bee for mom saw ewe N ya blamed it on de naybor dawg....dirt N all !! :) ☺☺ ♥♥

Ivan from WMD said...

Bridget! Better not do that to anything else or you'll hear what we always do--"That's why we can't have nice things."

meowmeowmans said...

Wow, Bridget. We'd say you really love that chair!

Timmy Tomcat said...

It sure is something how we kitties pick a place to scratch and no ifs, ands or buts that is that. Since it was heading to the place of past treasures no harm no foul

Cat and DOG Chat With Caren said...

Bridget you are one clever, albeit naughty girl! You and Cody need to hook up. He starts chewing on EVERYTHING (plastic, paper, cloth, you name it!) if he isn't fed when he FEELS he should be fed!

Katie Isabella said...

BOY! WOWZERS! Bridget, while it is hard for our mom's to hear as it goes, like, totes against the grain...still....she did say to knock yourselves out scratching. You're lucky to have permission though the sound gets a human's skin rising off of them in their eagerness to stop int from happening Mom said she died to have an old small piece of carpet she had in a corner, standing up and Admiral used it as a vertical scratcher. It worked and nothing else was scratched.