Notes from a parish cat and his author Julie Mackenzie

My photo
I am Father Tom Fish, esteemed member of the religious team at Temptation of Christ Parish in the novels by author Julie Mackenzie. As to my background, I was invited into the rectory as a stray, laid on the charm, and was invited to stay, even honorarily ordained and no less spiritual than my sidekick Father Will. He dotes on me to high heaven and forgives all of my street cat proclivities, whatever the hell that means.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Oh, the Randyman Can..

I said awhile ago that I had some posts mentioning Vinny. For his fans, there's this:

I heard there's deadly bacteria in a cat's mouth. I am appalled. How did anyone come up with that, anyway? Did they get deathly ill from a cat kiss?

All these years I have led the chastest of lives, complete with sanitary habits. I got snipped long before the urge struck me to spread my seed like Vinny Blackwhisker. The only thing I have been busted for is marking my territory with my back-ended signature.

You see, we cats have a problem. We are neither right-handed nor left-handed. But, we are back-ended. We leave our mark on the vertical dotted line of life. So, if there are germs to speak of, they can be found on surfaces that belong to us anyhow.

All of my anointings have not been a bed of roses. The housekeeper went nuts when she found out one morning that I had marked the cat box room in one corner. I was almost afraid I'd be turned out. I don't know what made me do it. I honestly wasn't even thinking. I sniffed around, then, wham-o.

Anyhow, back to the germs. People have had cats for eons and survived. But, I think the next time I see Vinny, I'll lick him just in case!

* * *

We haven't had a joke in awhile. There's been scratching at my inbox for a good one. Here we go:

A big Texas fat cat and a Boston tortie met on a plane headed for Miami. Of course, the big cat wanted to brag about his state. "Texas is in my heart and soul," he boomed. "Our heroes are the bravest men in the world. Did your Boston ever have anyone as brave as Sam Houston?" The tortie was quiet for a moment, then said, "Well, there was Paul Revere." The Texas kitty snorted, "Paul Revere? Isn't he the one who ran for help?"

Have a good weekend!



Marg said...

Good joke Tom. We also leave our signatures with our back ends. Makes mom say norty words too. Hope all of you have a super Saturday.

Deb said...

Great read with morning coffee. No signatures here. It takes energy I guess and they are all too old now.

Brian's Home Blog said...

Hey, if it's yours then sometimes you need to put your name on it!

Hannah and Lucy said...

If you're proud of something sign it!!
luv Hannah and Lucy xx xx

Mariodacat said...

ha ha- we're leaving your bloggy laughing again. Cute joke, and gorgeous picture of dat Vinny - even if his back end.

Catsparella said...

Mol! Have a wonderful weekend, Tom! Happy Caturday!

Katnip Lounge said...

ha! We like your joke, Tom.

Some of us like (rather too much) to sign on the vertical line, too. Mommy is an expert at erasing our signatures, so we have to go back and sign AGAIN!

And again.


Elizabeth Keene said...

Afternoon, Tom. We don't know Vinny, but he sounds b.a.d. Also, we'd kiss you. Happy Saturday from the Cardigan crowd!

Cara n Crew said...

hee hee! We like your joke, Tom. We ladycats aren't ones to leave our mark in that manner and we sure don't appreciate the neighborhood boys who think our front door is theirs (the nerve, mol!)
have a great weekend!

Pip, Smidgen, Minnie, and Hollie

The Daily Pip said...

Hi Tom, Thanks for the smiles. This was a very clever post!

Your pal, Pip

Mr Puddy said...

Ha..Ha.. Ha.. " leave our mark on the vertical dotted line of life " I did that too Father Tom but many many vertical line..heh..heh..hee.. and Mommy didn't like my signatures ! She erased it all !!!


meowmeowmans said...

MOL! Good joke, Tom!

And hey, if something belongs to you, it's important to put your name on it, right? :)

Happy weekend to you and Julie!

Cathy Keisha said...

Pop is ROTFL after I read him the joke. TW sez the same thing about me having germs. The noive!

The Island Cats said...

Heehee! That was a good one, Tom!! Hope you're having an excellent Sunday!!

Unknown said...

I sure enjoy the way you see things. Just makes me smile...and add my signature.

RoySr said...

The joke and the attitude is right on. We've one in the clowder that has just started leaving his signature after 7 years. We may have miss him before but he has now been caught for sure. What to do, what to do!

Just wonderin .....

Fr. Tom Fish said...

I like to let everyone know how things look to me. Humans say, "we're only human." Cats pretty much say the same thing-we're not perfect, either.

Thanks for "signing" in, my friends! Have a good week!


OKcats said...

Great joke! Our mom used to live in Texas (our brothers at the Bridge were Texans!), and she said that joke about sums up the Texas mentality! Oh, she also knows about the back-end signature, as one of them used to be VERY fond of it!

Alex aus dem Gwundergarten said...

Hi Tom
I kiss Noah too... well only on his nose, but I'm still alive :o). Hihi the photo of Vinnies back is great!
Have fun and take care

Sage said...

Loved that joke. My M & D both lived in Texas too and know just exactly what OKcats means!! Hehe

Admiral Hestorb said...

Mommy laffed!! And fanks for remembering us on Twitter! xoxoxox

Brandon - The dog with a blog said...

What a great joke, thanks fur sharing!