Friday, December 31, 2010

My Friend

Say what? I didn't believe it at first. My piss and vinegar pal has taken off for the Rainbow Bridge? But, he was tough as nails, tougher than I'll ever be. I'm angry and upset.

I've always tried to be good, but honestly, right now, I don't care. It's not fair. It gets me so mad, I don't give a damn about all that's holy! There, I said it, aaarghh!

After awhile, I realized I wasn't making any sense, and Vinny would have been the first one to point it out, too.

I've calmed down a little, but my heart's still all torn up. Vinny and I were good friends.

Julie and I finally had our conversation about him:

Tom: We were supposed to adopt him when Patsy died. That was the plan. What are you going to do about this, with your fancy-shmancy book and everything?

Julie: You're in the book, Tom, but Vinny--well, he was going to have a bigger role on the blog.

Tom: Well, his passing certainly shot that in the a**.

Julie: You're beginning to sound like him.

Tom: You bet. And it feels real good, too.

Julie: Do whatever makes you feel better. It's fine with me.

(a long silence)

Tom: I'd give anything just to talk to him one more time.

Julie: Me, too.


Tom: I love you, Jul.

Julie: I love you too, precious. We'll get through this, I promise. We'll continue our tales and your blog. I think I even have a couple of posts about Vinny, in fact, that I never used.

Tom: Really? Cool!

* * * * * * * * * * *

Thank you so much for all of your kind words and comfort. I heard from dear ones I didn't even know, but appreciate everything you all have said to help us through. I have read each and every one of your comments over and over. I never, ever imagined I would be sharing such sadness, or be lifted by such kindness. Again, thank you.




There seems to be a misunderstanding. I don't quite understand it myself. But when it comes to losing a furry baby, people seem to think that it doesn't hurt. One of the things I am ever so grateful for is that those of us here in this blogging community "get it". We all understand that the loss of one of our furry babies is as much a loss as losing a child. Even as I say that I don't minimize the pain one feels when losing a close family member, but in my mind that is what a furry baby is too. Long long ago, while I was working I lost a dog to cancer, I was at work, and my eyes were red and swollen and a co-worker asked me what was wrong and I said I had lost this dog and she was like you're upset over a DOG? It was such a numbing comment, what could I say, I didn't say anything. But all of us know how hurtful it is. We do care and we are moved. We will help you keep Vinny's memory alive and please do continue to post about him. We all want to hear more.

(sorry for being so wordy)

Quinn and Angel brandi said...

We are sad too. Carry Vinny's memory in your heart always. It doesn't get easier. But the memories help alot.

Harry Spotter said...

We know how you feel, I had to semd my best friend to the rainbow bridge, it hurt but it had to tbe done. I still miss her after all this time. My heart aches for. We do what we have to do. I wish you and your family comfort,, peace, and a Happy and Healthy New year. Hugss..

Mr Puddy said...

Julie, Do what you really feel ! Post what you really want to say...We all do understand and listen to your heart. We all are your friends.. Some here, might be your new friend including me. But we all are same heart's type as you....We all love cats !

Me and my mom wish you and Tom all the best for 2011.


Katnip Lounge said...

Well, WE would love to hear a little more about Vinny. It's NEVER to late to tell (or hear) a "Good Cat Tail". We will raise our paws and salute Sir Vinny.
Mourning takes it's own time, and if getting a little hissed off helps, by all means do so.
We loves you!
May 2011 see you happy again.

Yr pals, The Katnip Lounge Kitties

Summer at said...

Tom, don't be mad, Vinny will be where he always has been - in your heart and your human's. Purrs and licks.

The Daily Pip said...

I am sure you miss your friend very much, but remember a part of him will always be with you, watching over you.

Your pal, Pip

OKcats said...

We'd love to read more Vinny tales, whenever you're ready! I have one of my Bridge babies that I've never been able to write up a proper bio/introduction for, even though I intended to within one of my first few blog posts. I agree with what Abby's mom said above. Some people don't get the sadness of losing a fur baby. But the CB does, and that is only one small part of what makes it such an amazing community.

May 2011 bring good health, happiness, and peace to you and all you love.

The Lee County Clowder said...

We'd like to add to the chorus. If you want to talk about Vinnie for a couple more days or a couple more weeks, do it. We'll listen. Many beans post about kitties and woofers who have gone to The Bridge every year on key days.

Be assured, no one here is ever gonna say 'It was just a cat'.

Catio Tales said...

We want to join in too - use your pages to celebrate Vinny and tell us more about this great boy. Blogtherapy is important and it actually helps those who read it (or so Ă„iti says). We all dread the passing of those special to us and even if they are in our hears forever, they aren't on our laps or scratching the furniture for us. We all share it and cry when we read the hurt, but maybe that can spread it out a little so in time it hurts less. But we'll always be here reading and feeling for you.

Kea said...

When I lost Chumley, I spent weeks taking Gravol (brand of anti-nausea tablets) because I was so upset and sick. Everyone grieves in their own way and in their own time. I know people who don't care for non-humans can't grasp it, but we who know four-legged Beings are every bit as important and worthy as two-legged Beings (more so, IMO) understand the grief felt at the passing of a beloved fur companion.

The thing is, human relationships come with conditions. Spousal/partner "love" is about how the other person makes US feel, it comes with conditions. But the love we have for our fur companions is unconditional. We don't have the same expectations (such as make us happy, fix us, help us, make us fulfilled, etc.), so I believe the love we have for them is purer than the love we have for most humans.

Where am I going with this....I'm losing my train of thought, sorry. LOL. Just allow yourself to feel what you need to feel, for as long as you need to. And know it's OKAY. And know we're here in cyber-space to offer shoulders and hugs and Light and send Blessings.


Mariodacat said...

Mario's mom here: Julie, we all know how you feel. Anyone who has a dear beloved pet understands what you are going through. We're so very sorry to hear about your loss and shed a few tears with you. By all means, write a few most posts about Vinny as it would be a beautiful tribute to him. HUGS for you and soft paw for Tom,

Brian said...

Yep, we all get it, unfortunately we've been there too. Purrs & hugs.

Quill and Greyson said...

Purrs to ease your pain at this difficult time.

The Island Cats said...

When one of us loses a furbaby, it feels like we've all lost one. We send you comforting purrs and headbutts.

Everycat said...

You two keep on talking to him. He'll be listening and chucking his pithy two cents worth into the conversation every time. That's a beautiful picture of contentment and friendship. A good memory. Sending you both love


Jans Funny Farm said...

As the others have already said, we all understand your pain. We lost our Crystal this year. He too was a handsome orange boy. They just aren't with us long enough. Hugs, purrs and tail wags.

Admiral Hestorb said...

You two keep talking and please, tell us about Vinnie.

LIke Kea, I can never understand why anyone with a heart or who ever had a precious furred family member can't understand the pain when they pass from us. I understand and all of us on the CB understand too. As Kea said, we get it!

I loved my Robin, a precious 16 year old Tortie girl as though she was, and indeed she was, my child. My sons all grieved with me just as much.

We know and we all send purrs and love to help ease the pain.

meowmeowmans said...

Know that you are in our thoughts. Vinnie was a good friend, and it's clear that you loved him so much. Purrs, prayers and hugs for you both.

Clooney said...

Dear Tom & Julie,
We are so sorry to hear about your loss of Vinny. Blessings to sweet Vinny and kind, special thoughts to you Tom & Julie at this time. (We lost our special girl a year ago, very unexpectedly, and we are still sad about it so we sure know the pain of loss.) We also know through experience that the process of grieving can be very uncharted and you have to honour whatever it looks like in each particular circumstance. Purr-ayers to you both at this time.

PS: It would be great if you have more posts about Vinny.

Sweet Purrfections said...

What a precious post. My mom's eyes are leaking as we read this.

Milo and Alfie Marshall said...

We came over to say hello to Tom and to thank him for visitng our blog ~ then we realised that Vinny had gone to the Bridge this week. This made us very sad. We didn't know Vinny, but we do understand grief. We are so very sorry and know you must all be hurting right now. Purrs and (((((hugs)))))