Saturday, April 10, 2010

National Humor Month

April is National Humor Month, thanks to best-selling humorist Larry Wilde who declared this a month to laugh back in 1976. So, my friends, you have thirty days--well, actually twenty now, to think funny, be funny, and your personal mission is to make every person you meet laugh or at least, smile.

So, you can't think of anything, you say?

Here are some of the funny things I've heard said around the rectory. Not everyone will think they're funny, but they do qualify in my most humble feline opinion, as humor. They have been taken from the novel, A Temptation Tale.

"'Seize the day?' Depends on the kind of day I'm having as to what I'll seize." (the housekeeper)

"Baptisms are out. The water, you know." (Fr. Jack referring to yours truly)

"You spread butter, you're spreading cat hair, it's disgusting." (the housekeeper, exaggerating yet again)

"No wonder the corn plant in the lobby needs psychiatric care." (Fr. Will)

"Heaven better have tenders." (my wish for the Afterlife)

Sign on alms boxes: "Give Temptation Some Love" (increased donations by 100%)--Nobody's taking credit for this one.

"It's bull barnacles, I tell you!" (when Jack is making a concerted effort not to cuss)

        Oh, and finally, my favorite dog joke: A dog walks into a bar, limping. He looks around and says, "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw."

If anyone has funny expressions or jokes they'd like to share, please do!

Happy smiling, everyone!



Brian said...

Okay, since were all writers...

What is the difference between a cat and a comma? One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause.

Oh yea, my favorite song is Three Blind Mice!

Father Tom said...

Well said, Brian! Your favorite song is mine, too! But, that does leave a question. With a mouse for you and a mouse for me, who's gonna take care of that little old third mouse who can't see? Hmmm, let me think..^..^