Saturday, May 7, 2011
This week's events have rendered me speechless--almost.
It has been one for the Ages. Not only have my friends the Navy SEAL Team Six done an amazing job, their service to our country is second to none. If they would have me, I would like to become a Navy SEAL chaplain.
I aim to be a cross between Father Mulcahey on MASH (see, they have big letters, too) and Rambo. I haven't tried it, but I know I could hold my breath under water for two minutes. I would be praying the whole time and cringing at the thought of being suspended in the dreaded H2O, but I'd do it, just to prove myself worthy. I already have claws which are deadly weapons, I am very good at keeping evil at bay, and I honestly and truly have six-pack abs--you just can't see them with all my fur.
I wear camo well, too. (did you hear about the guy who liked wearing camouflage but had trouble finding himself?) and, best of all, I am very good at keeping secrets. The whole time I've been at Temptation, I never once told what I've heard in the confessional. Now, if that isn't restraint, I don't know what is.
So, my friends, I'm the purrfect candidate to keep our men safe and strong--and close to the Man upstairs. And, at the end of every mission, I know I would get the biggest dish of ice cream on the planet.