ANY JOB THAT INVOLVES STRING IS OUT
I thought I had a good chance at getting a job as a puppeteer. You laugh, but I'm telling you, I was a shoo-in.
I was good at manipulating string and I could make the parrot do anything I wanted it to do. After all, I was a cat, wasn't I?
The interviewer said I had remarkable skill with my paws, but it was the string that was holding me back, distracting me, making me want to play instead.
My furriends, I totally embarrassed myself. I was playing instead of auditioning for the job! I recovered by saying the whole thing should be a cat toy, anyway.
We shook paws and I left, but I learned a lesson. I wasn't going to be like the puppeteer in the Sound of Music...odlayeeeeoooooo, darn it.
Not if there are strings attached!
Here are some suggestions the next time you're out looking for work:
JOB HUNTING TIPS FOR CATS
1. Enter the reception area, meow your arrival, and take a seat. Do not sniff corners, chair legs or turn the butt toward the lady behind the desk.
2. Remember to bring phone numbers for references. No Twitter handles, blog nicknames, or names of best buds now in the slammer.
3. Wear a collar. This is expected. It should be conservative, indicate gender without any over the top flairs. And, this is not the time to play guess my after-shave.
4. Look intelligent. No funny faces or goofy smiles or Tickle Me Elmo imitations.
5. Get to your appointment on time. That means no alleys, no nip stops, and watch the fish breath.
Good luck!
--Tom
Pee ess: We might want to share some of this advice with our woofie furriends, too, hehe!
Bonjour dear Tom
ReplyDeleteI'm here taking notes, thanks for all good hints!You are so clever and talented!
I wish you a nice weekend,
purrs and love
Luna
SO sorry to hear that you didn´t make it as a puppeteer :(
ReplyDeleteI can see that you have some good skills there *mol*
Thank´s for the tips on how to be succesful when I search for work :)
Have a great weekend !
Charlotte here. You are sooo funny! Mustn't let that SS see this, otherwise she would get it into her head that I need to find a job to earn my keep. I am doing just fine, thankyou.
ReplyDeleteThat is all very good advice Tom and we agree with you, that parrot puppet should be a cat toy.
ReplyDeleteEXCELLENT tips there, my friend! As the puppet thing didn't work out, what's next on your list? Personally, I find we cats do extrememely well in supervisory positions. You know... 'cause we're so smart... 'cause we're cats and all. purrs
ReplyDeleteWe're going to pass these tips on to our Mom since she's unemployed!!
ReplyDeleteThe Florida Furkids
Good advice pal. I'm going to save this cuz I probably should get a job too.
ReplyDeleteBTW - it's not your fault you did not get the job - afteraLL, whoever thought of giving out strings doesn't really know a cat anyway. I bet it was a D.O.G. in disguise and they tricked you!
Thank you for those helpful tips - they will be useful when we send Mum out to work.
ReplyDeleteLuv Hannah and Lucy xx xx
We are so sorry you didn't get the job - still never mind we are sure it was good experience and hopefully your tips for other cats wishing to work will bring in some much needed funds.
ReplyDeleteLuv Hannah and Lucy xx xx
So beautiful!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteHAH! This is funny, I mean GOOD advice. All my old furrrends are in the slammer. I guess that's not good news when it comes to innerviewing. BTW, should I gloss over the two jails I was in before I moved into my condo?
ReplyDeletewe can't believe you didn't get the job!!! good advice, but we think we are going to stick to sending mom out every day for the green papers
ReplyDeleteGreat tootorial! We think a job that involves a lot of snoozin would be great. Hee-hee.
ReplyDeleteDon't feel embarrassed, Tom. That happens a lot, I'm sure. Strings are too attractive not to play :-)
ReplyDeleteYour job hunting tips are great! Definitely no nip stops. We must be sober at the interview!
Mieow Tom, you furry wize one indeed! ^..^ It iz da stringz dat are attached dat will get you Efurry time *sigh*
ReplyDeleteAna haz a job.... she Garden Snoopervizer, and Gabriel iz Undercofur PI ....... maybe sumfin you might be good at ? ^..^
Should da rest ov us haz to get a job, we will keep your wize tipz in mind ^.,^
Purrz to ALL~
♥♥xoxoxo♥♥
Good luck on continued job hunts. We're taking notes. No blingy collars - check, no Twitter or blog names - um, kind of check, no nip stops...oh, poo...gonna have to get a handle on this one. Purrs...
ReplyDeleteGreat tips, Tom, but as you know, we kitties are more likely to be employers than employees - maybe I should do a list of things to look for when hiring a new human servant!
ReplyDeleteWell, those are some great tips, Tom. And if we ever need to find a job, we'll try to remember them!
ReplyDeleteSome very good tips there my pal..Sorry you didnt get the job but het what fun.. Hugs GJ xx
ReplyDeleteI don't blame you for wanting to play with the string! Sounds like that job was a recipe for disaster, MOL.
ReplyDeleteWatch the fish breath is good advice for everyone! MOL
ReplyDeleteI would think that any job involving string was not a good fit for kitties.. unless the job was specifically knotting them up so someone else can untangle them, now there's a job!
No nip stores or fish breath??!
ReplyDeleteBah!
We know the priesthood doesn't pay royally, but be sure you don't take another job that might make YOU end up in the confessional.
Hey, aren't we supposed to make people work for US?
ReplyDeleteI appreciate all those might fine tips...just in case I ever decide to work MOL!!!
ReplyDeleteGood list. I would add, while waiting your turn in the reception area, don't do any last minute butt washing.
ReplyDeleteoh Tom! the string just wasn't playing fair. Tough break, tho we're sure you'll get em next time. Thanks for the job hunting tips. YoW! some of those look tough. Minnie wants to be a USDA Beagle so she's taken notes :) have a great weekend!
ReplyDeletePip, Smidgen, Minnie, HOllie
Thanks for the wonderful suggestions, Tom. You are brilliant as always. :) And you were very focused on the string, just in a different way than the job required. You'll have better luck next time! You're so talented and knowledgeable about stuff. Have a great weekend, sweetie! Hugs from Oregon.
ReplyDeleteOh Tom!! You are such a sweet and kind-hearted kitty and we are sorry to hear you didn't get the job :'(
ReplyDeleteGood advice Tom, but we are confused. Why would you have to work part-time? Are the beans slacking off?
ReplyDeleteWe think you should not work, because you're a cat. 'Nuf said. MOL
Sasha, Sami, & Saku
Those are excellent interviewing tips!
ReplyDelete...But no flair? ...no string? and no FISH BREATH???
I think I'll just take a nap and let Glogirly do the working.
; ) Katie
MOL, you are fun Tom. We must invest in a collar for those job opportunities!
ReplyDeleteCats don't WORK! We are worshipped!
ReplyDeleteKisses
Nellie
Hmmm! Work is a four letter word!!! Just saying! ;)
ReplyDeleteNice to meet you Tom. Re the Slammer. I think we might have the some of the same friends :)
Great ideas, Tom. I am going to adjust them a little and stick them under staff persons nose so she might take the hint and go get a j-o-b.
ReplyDeleteWonderful Tom!! We hope you get the job!! You are by far the cutest, furriest and floofiest candidate for it! Yay!! Take care
ReplyDeletex
We think you should have gotten the job!
ReplyDeleteGreat tips, Tom! But your job is just to be a cat (and that is important work), so we think you should find a sunpuddle and call it a day. :)
ReplyDeleteHugs to you all!
that was a good tips Tom
ReplyDeletewe sure gonna remember that
BoBo Salem
Meow Meow Family
Oh those are such great tips. We have written them all down. Hope you get the next job. That string looks good too. Take care.
ReplyDeleteI can see you are having fun!!
ReplyDeleteRegarding your PEE ESS???
ReplyDeletePffffft!
Of khourse, I'm a WORKING breed -
End of diskhussion!
Hugz&Khysses,
Khyra