WHISKER MESSAGES FROM A CHURCH CAT

No Wuss Puss

2012-01-27T04:29:00.001-08:00

Allow me to introduce Tinker, but he's better known as Tink "the Tank" Soprawnov. I forgot the "v" last week, he was quick to remind me, hailing from a long line of robust Russian Cossack cats.

At 21 pounds of sheer muscle and borscht, he is a distant relative of the Romanovs. You might remember them as the royal family who hid bling in their clothes causing bullets to ricochet. Death-defying is his middle name, too, and he serves his purpose to purrfection.

He is my unofficial bodyguard and one of my best furriends. Should I become famous or threatened because I know too much (I hear a lot in the confessional), he'll have my back. Some people say we look enough alike that he could be my double.

As you can see, he can be cute which I knew, but he also has a soft side to him only to be discovered the other day. There he was, asleep with a couple of teddy bears. Even though he flexed muscle and narrowed his eyes at me, it didn't work. He's a softie caught in the act of snoozing on a comfy bed with snuggies only making him more manly, setting off his majesty and fizzeek.

Ah, life with my growing rectory family. Here we are all together: Tinker, Mitty (see how he's grown!) and me. In the lower right hand corner is the dog's head. He's heading toward us, but not before this rare picture of the three of us was taken.

On the count of three, boys--run!

Have a good weekend!

--Tom

***Just wanted to mention the dog making a back-of-the-head appearance in this blog post. He's Trapper, a golden retriever, a great dog but he doesn't take part in what goes on in the rectory. This is solely or soul-ly, hehe, a cat's pad and that isn't going to change anytime soon. Meee-owver and out.

Mysterious Plumber

2012-01-20T04:19:00.000-08:00

In honor of Unsolved Mystery Day, we wanted to tell you about one that has been looming over the rectory for quite some time. Actually, haunting the bathroom. To everyone's astonishment, the stop in the sink has been repeatedly pulled out.

All have witnessed this strange phenomenon and no one seems to know how. To try to solve this, I called on a heavy hitter I know, Tink "the tank" Soprawno, a very wise, smart as a handspring, humongous cat.

He investigated as I looked on. He was stealthy and silent. A big, hulky, brooding, take-no-prisoners feline quiet as death. I respectfully waited.

He left no scent unturned, making contact with a neighboring sink to see what clues awaited there. That stop stayed firmly intact. We shook our heads.

About to give up, we spotted a far too nonchalant kitty obviously enjoying all the fuss.

Mitty??

***Happy Birthday to mom Julie. Sorry, no cake. Too soon since the last one. Besides, all the candles would sink it!! Just kidding! **smoochies**

--Tom

~~~~~~~Thank you all so much for all the birthday wishes!! I had a wonderful afternoon with my daughter after a visit to the Dept. of Motor Vehicles to renew my license. Met a very nice lady there named Sue, born the same year I was. We agreed the world has changed soo much these many years! I love when an errand becomes a visit and an enjoyable one at that. Speaking of visiting, I'll be catching up with comments tomorrow. This is the only time I'm going to say anything about my wrist and back. I'm still hurting and I write only for an hour stretch at a time, then have to stop. I hurt more now than when it happened, it seems. Being a military brat, I'm used to not making a big deal about such things, growing up under the towering gaze of a stiff upper lip. Thanks again for all of your comments, making this day pretty special. {{Hugs}}~Julie

Me, Vegetarian?

2012-01-13T02:12:00.000-08:00

I love my kitchen. I even open cabinets if I can. They're like dark caves with cool smells.

I also like to find stray morsels of food where they're dropped and nobody notices but me. Humans always forget what lands on the floor. I notice big time and check it out. I have to do it quickly, though, the housekeeper keeps a spotless kitchen and that includes the floor.

Now, the reason I'm questioning whether I could have a little vegetarian in me is that this is a food toy that I like, one that somehow escaped her eagle eye. A small piece of sliced celery landed on the floor and I had the best time with it. Can you imagine?

I heard that celery is the neglected vegetable. It has a lot of heart benefits and is put into salads. Maybe it's good for me, too, crunching on it and all. I was told by the vet that I have a slight heart murmur. I didn't know hearts could talk.

So, furriends, cats cannot live by nip, stinky goodness or treats alone, so check out your own kitchen for hidden floor goodies!

Failing that, try this!!! Look at this beautiful cake that'll be at a book presentation today at the Portland Public Library! Is that a good likeness of me or what? I'm so excited! Oh, mom Julie? She'll be there, too, hehe! (but I totally intend to steal the show, just don't let her know. Shhhh!)

--Tom

***Not sleet, nor rain, nor gloom of day could keep Tom's fans from coming to see him and hear his story. It was a smaller group, but all things considered, the talk went well and we met some very nice folks. The cake was yummy. It was one of those one-layer desserts that made you feel only half as guilty :)

Mitty or 'Mitt'?

2012-01-06T03:44:00.000-08:00

Oh, my Cod, what's happening?

Mitty heard about Mitt Romney and now wants to be called "Mitt" instead of Mitty. He thinks it makes him sound more mature and red, white and blue cool. I told him it doesn't make any difference and just keep his shirt on about growing up. What's the rush?

Mitt(y) says he's become quite capable. He can take responsibility for pests (not real mouse)

and organization, two qualities needed in any political campaign.

Now, me, I was fascinated with Mr. Santorum only because I felt like splashing on holy water every time I heard his name. It sounds like "saecula saeculorum" which means "forever and ever." Sounds like politics to me!

Anyway, you'll always be Mitty to me. Cute as can be and twice as intelligent as any Mitt out there. I say, Mitty, if you want to get into politics, start your own pawty. Call it the Surprise Party and we'll vote for you, hehe!

--Tom

***We've received an interesting range of responses to whether or not Mitty should be Mitt. Mom Julie and I are in complete agreement with efurrybody else that Mitty should keep his name and would be a great candidate for the Surprise Pawty. In no way did we want to infur that we were putting our kibble behind a certain candidate. The poor little tacker's getting caught up in all the hoopla and is just being silly. (look at dose toofers!!)

Tom's New Year's Rezlooooshuns

2011-12-31T04:23:00.000-08:00

One of the things I've resolved to do is behave myself and act more priestly.

Maybe even take up yoga.

Number two on the rezlooshuns list is to behave in my personal rectory rest room. I'm told I have no regard for where I fling the gravel, digging as if to inner Earth. They said the Sea of Galilee goes on top, gets covered over and I'm done. What are they talking about?

Number Three of the zlooshuns is to no longer imbibe in holy water--the kind served in the rectory den. No more candy, either unless it's a toy like this. That means the housekeeper will discover it come Easter (when she does her spring cleaning) Actually, I don't eat candy. I just didn't have a pic of me imbibing is all.

Number Four of the sloossssssshherons is I have to set a good example for Mitty. What, and ruin him?

Number ah, er, ah (what number am I on??) Oh, nevermind, I'm a cat who enjoys his nip on this merry old holiday and wishes all of his friends, fans and Julie the best New Year ever, full of blessings, goodies, and good times.

Hey, my little friend, I've made some strong clawfee for you. When the ball drops, I want you to see just one, not three.

And, thank you everybody for another great year. Let's make the new one happy, healthy and hopeful. Most of all we're so grateful for your friendship. We couldn't do it without you.

The best to all in 2012!

Love,

Tom, Mittens and Mom Julie

Friday Funnies with Awards

2011-12-30T04:13:00.000-08:00

Hi, everybody on this Friday, just two days before the start of a brand new year.

Around here, there's enough sprucing up to put spring cleaning to shame. The housekeeper doesn't like to start a new year "with a mess."

Me, I like to keep things light. I haven't told a joke in awhile. Here's the best of 2011:

A big Texas fat cat (must have been a coon) and a Boston tortie met on a plane headed for Miami. Of course, the big cat wanted to brag about his state. "Texas is in my heart and soul," he boomed. "Our heroes are the bravest men in the world. Did your Boston ever have anyone as brave as Sam Houston?" The tortie thought for a moment and said, "Well, there was Paul Revere." The Texas kitty snorted, "Paul Revere? Isn't he the one who ran for help?"

So, let's see. What happened the last couple of days really blew me away. I received two awards back-to-back! One is the Kreativ Blogger award from my woofie pal in Portland, Oregon. She writes the Sage Chronicles blog which I truly enjoy.

Then, hark! I barely recovered from my surprise at that award when I received another one. The Liebster Award came our way from Andrea and the Celestial Kitties in Ohio. ::blushes:: y'all shouldn't have!

Mercy me! I know the rules are to designate five other bloggers to give the award to which in this case would amount to ten, but honestly, everybody, I've lost track of who's received one and who hasn't. If you feel you want the award to put on your blog, please help yourself, with my blessing.

Hope everyone has a dandy Friday. Our last post for the year will be tomorrow, then we say goodbye to 2011. I wonder what's in store for us in the new year??

--Tom

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-25T04:46:00.000-08:00

Hello, everybody! We want to wish all of our friends the happiest holiday filled with blessings and good cheer.

You can see how filled with good cheer I am.

Anyway, hugs and nosekisses to everyone and to everyone a good Sunday afternoon nap!

--Tom

I hope we haven't missed anyone with our individual Christmas wishes and visits. This day's been a blur, but a happy one. Hope you've enjoyed the same.
--Julie

Ouch!

2011-12-23T03:16:00.000-08:00

Wouldn't you know it. In all the holiday hustle and bustle, we had an accident.

Actually, I didn't, even though I was hanging by a prayer in our tree, dropping balls left and right.

Mom Julie hurt herself after slipping on our icy steps and hitting the flat of her back against the bricks. It's been so warm lately, didn't even think about rain becoming ice overnight in spots.

Oh, Tom! My left hand isn't working very well and there aren't too many words that I could just type with my right. I'm so glad my shopping was done.

Thought we would share some photos of Tom (without meaning to) scaring the nativity kitties and our poor tree.

Have a happy, safe and blessed Christmas everybody!

Love,
Tom, Mittens & mom Julie

***Went to the doctor. Nothing broken, thank God and Cod. Thank you all for kind words! Never gone on a dr's appt. during Christmas. At least my pain is festive, hehe! Now, all I have to worry about is Tom getting back into the tree and Mitty wanting to get into the refrigerator.

Wordless Wednesday: Ornament Smackdown

2011-12-21T04:03:00.001-08:00

"Dancing With the Vet" - Mitty Auditions

2011-12-16T03:24:00.001-08:00

I'm going where?

Suddenly I'm in a white room being clutched by my dance partner, Dr. Linda.

Right away, I know she'll be leading

She makes sure I'm light enough for a shoulder toss

Limber enough for a samba

And have the kind of paw coordination for the two-step

Whew! I'm tired!

So, what do you think? Am I ready?

--Mittens

A Special Reading Group

2011-12-11T03:20:00.000-08:00

Julie says..

I wanted to add one more picture to the Delmarva album. This is Linda, a very good friend who has been battling cancer. The doctor tells her it's in remission now (they discovered it early, thank God) and she was all smiles when I saw her. I mentioned her doggie in the book and I plan to mention dogs or kitties in future books for a donation to a shelter. I just have to work out the details.

Come to find out yesterday, there's a whole book group that's been formed and its members are my best friend Jan, Linda, Carolyn, and Norma--with Vi to be added when she gets the book for Christmas. Nobody breathe a word!! No one wants to get ahead of the other, even though they tell me it's a page-turner, so they're hustling each other up to keep up! They might just decide to take it slow, though, for Vi's sake.

I appreciate your comments regarding the book here, in person and in emails. I have to get cracking to have the next book ready. Meanwhile, there's this blog which will keep everyone in the loop with what's going on.

Take care, efurrybody. Mittens and Tom'll be back next time.

Goodbye Delmarva

2011-12-10T02:49:00.000-08:00

Boy, time goes by quickly when you're running around two states in one trip!

Oxford, as you've already seen, was beautiful. The hospitality at the Mystery Loves Company Bookstore was just as lovely.

They were ready for us, all decorated and cozy. Here are Kathy Harig and her husband Tom, owners of the shop. They like cats and were very willing to make sure I was in the picture with the sweets!

Coincidentally, their store was originally in Fells Point, Maryland, located just a couple of blocks away from Lancaster Street where part of the novel takes place. There are other locales readers will recognize as they make their way through a Temptation tale!

Here are Sherrie Connolly and her daughter Maddy, Julie and me. I liked them very much.

There were others whose names we'll always remember, too, and whose visits we'll cherish at this our first book signing trip. One couple came from Perry Hall just to see us, a more than two hour drive. Thank you so much, Nancy! I hope you enjoy the book. They received a special hug from Julie and me.

The next day, it was off to Delaware for Sunday's signing at Atlantic Books.

We loved our visit. The weather was perfect and, we were blessed with one of our favorite sights: Canada geese.

There've been other visits to this wonderful place since Julie hails from Maryland, but none as special as this one.

It's really made me happy to be a cat, and a special one at that.

--Tom

***We're doing our best to comment on other blogs, but we hope to really be able to catch up in the next few days. Thank you to all who give us their love and support.

Our Trip: The Beginning

2011-12-08T16:43:00.000-08:00

We were scheduled to fly out at 7am. I was packed and cranky.

I have no idea why I was stuffed in with the boots. Do I look like Puss what's-his-name?

When we boarded the plane, I didn't even get a seat. I got a pocket instead, stuffed in with the sky catalog, airline magazine, a chewed up lollipop stick, and directions on how to survive a boo-boo at 31,000 feet. Good thing I can read if I had to save us.

After we landed, it was off to the hotel, or inn which was all nice and Christmasy with fireplace, decorated tree and me with some sort of flower

When anybody came by, I hid

By this time, I was ready to go up to our room. I headed for the bed and found myself tucked in.

While I slept, Julie puttered around, getting ready for our appearance in Oxford at Mystery Loves Company Books. Thankfully, for me my day was done. Besides, they didn't offer mice on the room service menu, so that eliminated any chance of a mid-afternoon snack before naptime.

Mercifully, things finally quieted down.

Zzzzzzz...

Zzzzzzz...

***I just wanted to remind everyone that my cardboard self will be hovering over Julie at her book signing in Milford, Massachusetts on Saturday. I look forward to seeing any and all CB furriends who might be in the area!!

--Tom

Wordy Wednesday: Book Signings on Delmarva

2011-12-07T11:00:00.000-08:00

This is the beauty of early December on the Eastern Shore of Maryland, particularly Oxford here, a little town with charm, marinas, a great mystery bookshop, and.. margarita sunsets? I wonder what those are.

What could be more fitting for a cat priest than to be seen here between the devil and the deep blue sea (inlet), he he! Can you find me in this photo? It was just a beautiful day this past Saturday.

Kitties, it was a wonderful trip to Delmarva to sign books, talk about yours truly (meow) and a great opportunity to visit friends. We'll be getting together photos the next few days to share with you. Sorry to hear some of our furriends are ailing, but we're glad to be back in touch.

More later. :)

Hugs,
Tom & Julie

Best Buds

2011-12-01T16:43:00.003-08:00

I'm convinced Mitty is an early reader.

I watch him go after the cursor or watch each letter as it's being put up on the screen. We don't let him do the closeup stuff too much since it might hurt his eyes.

Here's a picture of us cuddling. Cool, huh? I really like having him around.

Tom?

Yeeeessss, my dear?

I'm a little worried he might pick up your bad habits.

Oh? And what might those be?

Tom, Mittens looks up to you. For the love of Cod, would you please set a good example?

I'll do my very best, but I can't promise anything. (Don't you just love a comment that gets you off the hook and makes you look good at the same time?)

--Tom

A Yard Sale Discovery

2011-11-26T02:54:00.000-08:00

A picture is worth a thousand words, but what if you have more than one--together?

I want to share the story behind a small, framed photo of a black and white kitty. Found at a nursing home yard sale, its owner is unknown but that doesn't make it any less of a treasure. It was special to someone.

It represented a special pet that was probably not allowed in the nursing home, or reminded its owner of better times.

We couldn't stop looking at it after its purchase. There was a nagging feeling there was more to the picture than met the eye.

I watched as we took it apart.

You could see the usual back of any photograph paper and cardboard, but we discovered more

Now, we'll turn over the old Christmas card

So, you never know what personal lives you'll discover when you pick up an item at a garage or yard sale. They sometimes are all that is left of memories, of a special kitty, and smiles gone by.

--Tom

Happy Thanksgiving!

2011-11-24T03:36:00.001-08:00

Tom and I are going to share this post today so we can wish everyone in the CB, our family, friends and our publisher Inkwater Press a very happy Thanksgiving.

This is the latest picture of Mittens with Tom in the background, along with books (which seem to be everywhere) and flowers. We're thankful for those who have inspired us and the new generation represented here who, when they're not playing, will see to our future!

Take care, everyone and a very Happy Thanksgiving!

Little Grasshopper

2011-11-18T03:11:00.000-08:00

A teensy, tiny smidge of a kitty named Mittens has invaded the rectory. Can you believe it? I am now a father figure (no pun intended) to my new little brother three months old!

He is so cute. I hope people don't think he's cuter than I am. Okay, so it's a close call. Here's another pic of cuteness in the extreme.

Okay, okay. That's enough. I can do cute, too, buster!

I think everything is going to be just fine. Julie says there hasn't been a kitten in the house for more than fifteen years. (She's always taking pity on us older cats) Mittens came from a shelter all full of p#** and vinegar. I have to hang onto the wall when he darts in and out of the rooms like a little rocket.

I can't wait to teach him altar tricks and sanctuary etiquette--oh, and then there's introducing him to nip, basketfuls of clean clothes and cat box editorials.

Hey, Mitty, where are you?? Hey, little buddy!

Tom and the Fly

2011-11-12T03:22:00.001-08:00

"The time has come," the walrus said, "to speak of many things."

I don't think the walrus had in mind what I'm about to tell you. First, I want to say that being a cat of the cloth means I can talk to anybody about anything, and they can talk to me.

The other day, I was sleeping, minding my own business

when along came this tiny winged creature who wanted to talk

and talk, and talk, and talk, naturally of many things. There wasn't even a confession in there to keep my interest.

Oh, my Cod, I was losing my patience.

But, I listened and I listened.

I wasn't even able to get a word in edgewise.

Finally, I'd had enough.

I didn't mean to, honestly, and this has been weighing on my conscience ever since. What do you think I saw when I removed my paw?

He was still there.

Talking..and talking..(hehe) Although, he might have pawsed for a moment.

--Tom

The Cat With the Halo Tattoo: Wordy Wednesday

2011-11-09T07:21:00.001-08:00

Okay, so everyone is getting tattoos. There's even a girl with a dragon tattoo. We've come a long way from "I love Mom" on the upper arm. Will says he'll get one that says "I love Tom," but I think he was just kidding.

I thought about I love God on my leg, but I don't love pain, so I didn't do it. Besides, those of us with fur don't have much room. So, I'm thinking of having a simple halo tattooed over my heart just in case there's somebody filling in for St. Peter at the pearly gates.

A halo over my heart. I can't show you that 'cause I'm only thinking about it, but check out the heavenly light around me from the sun. A much better choice of halo, I think. Snoozing in its warm glow just might be enough for now.

--Tom

Cats and Coffee

2011-11-04T02:58:00.003-07:00

I think we cats need our own version of Starbucks. After sticking my paw into an occasional iced coffee, I've discovered I really like the taste.

Now, we couldn't call it Starbucks because that would be catbyright infringement and the java people who don't care for cats wouldn't appreciate it. I would suggest the name Pawbucks, refreshment open to all four-footed patrons. I say let the birds have their own Clawbucks, or take a chance and drop in on ours. I can't think of anything I would like better than to have a few feathers with my latte.

The reason for this demand for our own coffees and espressos and catpuccinos is a matter of equality. I'm tired of having to share.

But share I will as I continue to enjoy ice cubes a little on the watery side and milk coffee with its unmistakeable, wakeable flavor. Sometimes I have a little toast, butter and jam with my iced dribbles, but it's usually the refreshing taste of coffee from a well-chilled glass that, by itself, is the cat's meow.

So, let's raise a paw until we can raise a glass at our own coffee establishment!

Tom's Trauma

2011-10-31T03:06:00.001-07:00

All attempts to dress me up for Halloween did not go well.

Trying this thing on for size (in theory) just made things worse.

Then, I came up with an idea. Let's call it a Halloween flying saucer with ears!

Let me have at it! Nothing like bunny-kicking the pumpkins to Kingdom come. Mmmm...I smell eye of newt and m&ms!

As it turned out, it wasn't much of a toy, but perfect for another kitty's head!

Happy Halloween, everybody!

Thankful Thursday - Paws Up!

2011-10-27T05:07:00.000-07:00

Let's see now. Where did we leave off?

Oh, the packing stuff from my books. Let me tell you, I looked everywhere for the nip. There was no nip, nip was nil, zip nip, nada nip.. I don't care how you say it, no nip was shipped and I was ripped!

Tom, I'm going to call you "No Nip Chip." Besides, this is what you look like when you've had too much.

Anyway, like I was saying (whose post is this, anyway?) I looked so long and hard that finally I just crashed among the scrunched up papers.

After I woke up, Julie put me on inspection detail. She had a press kit (looked more like a fancy present to me) that had my book in it and tied with a gold cord.

A nicely-flavored gold cord, I might add. It passed my taste test and everything smelled like it was in order and she left.

When she got back, I found it on the desk.

What happened?

Tom, the receptionist at the newspaper was on a personal call and I had to wait. The person the kit was addressed to had been transferred to another building. I felt like I was in a twilight zone. After she ended her call, the young girl said, "I'll take that and put it in (xyz's) mailbox." I decided against it and left.

Good going. And you did that without showing my cardboard head?

I forgot your cardboard head. Anyway, Tom, it's your book. I want to make sure it stays in good hands.

It's in lots of good hands now!

You bet. Again, thanks everyone for your good wishes and support. Tom, you want to tell them?

Everybody, I have an EMAIL ADDRESS set up just for your thoughts and comments, so feel free to write to me at JRMparishcat [at] gmail [dot] com. My own mail..yay! *paws up!*

--Tom

'Tocks at Three O'Clock

2011-10-21T02:15:00.000-07:00

My 'tocks are in a tizzy!

We had an unexpected surprise just the other afternoon. After hearing a rumble outside, we went out to see and found a brown truck with a brown man, smiling as he pulled out brown boxes! By cod, it was our books! They weren't due for another week, but lo and bee-hold, they were here!

He put them all on the porch and we told him what they were. He was so nice. All the commotion had already drawn a crowd, hehehe!

Julie sat on the step with them at first. On the top was one small package, one book by its lonesome. She opened it up.

A gorgeous cover with the soft glow of a burning candle and best of all, my handsome mug is on the lower right-hand side. Weeeeeeee!

Tom, it was a very special day I will always remember. What makes it really special is that--

Tom?

Hey, where'd they pack the nip?

Fuss 'n Feathers

2011-10-14T03:22:00.000-07:00

No, it can't be. My peepers are deceiving me!

A present left for me of two peacock feathers? How did they get here? They're bee-u-tee-ful!

Certainly the mighty peabird couldn't have shed two feathers in one place. Impossible.

Voluntarily surrendered them for my pouncing pleasure? Not hardly.

I think..and I think..mmmmm..

The only conclusion I can come to is they must have been a gift from the FSS.

The Feline Stealth Squad, an anonymous band of Robin Hood-like pranksters who steal from the unwary to give to the unlikely

And all in the name of fun.

Just to let you know, no peacocks were hurt--well, not until now

in the creation of this post. (Actually, the feathers came from the local animal shelter at a dollar apiece, but this made a much better story!)

--Tom

Sock-tober!

2011-10-07T02:54:00.000-07:00

Socks come and they go. When they go, they never do it in pairs. Have you ever noticed that?

Here this poor sock has been abandoned by its partner in the laundry, destined to be either a poor match for another, or fall into the hands of a questionable character who will only wear one sock at a time.

But, hold the tears! The toe can be filled with nip, the sock tied in the middle, the sides cut to the knot..

and the sock becomes a great cat toy!

Of course, I'm the quality control tester for this purrototype and its efficiency as a nip holder, a stretchy thing good for pulls and...excuse me, just a minute

I'm back. As I was saying, if you're ever out of toys or the ones you have just won't do, get the cat priest special, the one size nips all, sock turned toy and see all the fun you can have!

--Tom

LiveStrong - 2011

2011-10-02T03:56:00.001-07:00

At the same time yellow reminds us of the devastating effects of cancer and how it has taken the lives of those who depend on us for miracles, it also reflects our hope.

For as many tomorrows as it takes, it is today we put together our trust. There will be a better day for those who look to us. It is time to work and pray. Time for hope in our sorrow and dedication to our cause.

Live strong, dear ones. As always, our inspiration comes from those who've gone before.

Hope, like the gleaming light of day
Adorns and cheers our way
And, still as darker grows the night,
Emits a brighter ray.
--Oliver Goldsmith

The Mighty Jungle

2011-09-30T03:44:00.001-07:00

Does anybody have a tabletop lawnmower?

It's not easy living with greens up the purrtootie. Good intentions have turned into a mighty jungle. Give me a break! I can only eat so much grass!

I think I've been most appreciative. If you look closely, you'll see the jagged edges of my grazing. But, you know what? I came across a packet obviously with seeds left over which only means one thing: more grass later. Oh, gag me!!

I know who would love this grass--anybody have a goat..maybe a cow..or even a horsie???

--Tom

Mr. Fixit

2011-09-23T03:33:00.001-07:00

Well, I finally get to put my education at MIT (Mew I T) to good use.

Everything around here is falling apart and I just can't take it anymore.

Let's start with this cod-awful desk. From what I can see, we need to rejoin a couple of sections

It looks pretty stable otherwise (do I need a hardhat?)

Let's see, according to my calculations Mx{3.2-x%#4~)+C1|1/2@(y+5x)=m, it should hold together. Now where's my screwdriver?

There it is. Would you mind making me a sandwich..er..I mean, getting me a snack?

I don't know what I would do without Tom. He's the perfect Mr. Fixit!

--Julie

Avast Ye Mateys, Look with Wonder Yonder

2011-09-19T07:05:00.000-07:00

It's Meow Like a Pirate Day and I'm set to sail with thanks to Ann at Zoolatry for my pirate handsomeness hehehe!

Gather 'round now and let us sing a sea shanty to get us in the mood for plunderin'! ::burp::

AHOY, IS THAT LAND WE SEA?

We have ter stop confusin'
The whales fer lands we sea
The rounded humps way up ahead
Are not what they 'pear to be

And we have ter stop the old blind man
From his crow's nest post, ye see
Fer he's furrever 'lertin' everyone
To things that cannot be.

We fly the flag so proudly
Our black hearts wild and free
Wind through coats, salty air afloat
Sailing the waves, we be!

Wait--let me unscrew me peg leg for another little nip all around before we sing again..

Hey!

Oooooohhhh.. we have ter stop confusin'...

--Tom

My Better Side

2011-09-16T02:48:00.001-07:00

I heard a guy on the radio the other day say we men, or mencats, still haven't gotten in touch with our feminine side and need to do so.

Just in case nobody's noticed, I can be sensitive and sweet-tempered.

I even recite poetry:

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Pigeons are tasty
Especially in stew.

There are those who say my life is a bed of roses

I even like lace on occasion

Not to mention a soft pillow with ruffles

Not all of us bench press. I like the smell of cologne. I knew one ladycat who really liked my eau de fur and would curl up in my spot when I walked away.

The question remains. Do I have a feminine side? Well, let's put it this way: when you snooze through life, you can never have too much lace.

--Tom

What's This?

2011-09-09T01:58:00.001-07:00

Somebody said we have too many cats on the internet. What, one cat per thousand humans? Anyway, being the nice guy that I am, I'll see what I can do. (hehehe)

To start with, we'll have to wake these up and tell them to move along..

Absolutely no more of these..

Ignore this one..

Even remove parts of cats..

(Did I put enough cats on to celebrate "Mo' Cats Day, everybody?) Yes! ::paw high five::

And, since we're having more cats, why not a few more of these?

Where's my hot sauce?

--Tom

Wordless Wednesday

2011-09-07T04:30:00.001-07:00

Courtesy Retrograph Archive, London/Martin Breese

ML Means Love

2011-09-04T13:47:00.000-07:00

I’ve added my comments to all of the other ones scattered around the CB in tribute to ML and all she does for us. That wasn’t enough for me, I wanted to do more, so I sharpened my quill (don’t ask where the rest of the bird is) and put together a tribute of my very own.

Here's a little rhythm and rhyme for the occasion:

(cue the CB orchestra)

From Father Tom to ML

I think I'll curl right up and find myself a letter,
I think I’ll pick an M to describe the Many ways
That ML of the CB makes things better;
We add an L which says she’s Loved these many days
With daily words on the CB
Providing news for you and me
We'll say a big thank you and never forget her!

ML, will you dance with me??

Hugs,
Tom
xxxx

Something Wicked...

2011-09-02T02:21:00.001-07:00

See these beautiful flowers? They came from the farmer's market, but that's where the trouble begins. They aren't domesticated flowers like the ones you get at Safeway or maybe the Shop 'n Go supermarkets. The ones you see here can't be trusted! (see my ears at one o'clock)

Out of the blue, they decide to sneak up on me. They get closer and closer...

My reaction is quick! I breathe my deadly mouse breath on one in particular...

Got him!

Indeed!

2011-08-31T04:13:00.000-07:00

This is supposed to be "Wordless Wednesday." Can't anybody read? Oops, wait a minute..

(just going through some old photos and came across this one..I remember Tom being highly insulted which meant, of course, that he could read..)

We're Okay

2011-08-29T12:58:00.001-07:00

A message from Julie:

We just wanted to let you know we came out of Hurricane Irene in one piece, with less damage than expected. A lot of high winds, rain and branches all over the place, but it was sunny this morning. The nervousness is over, I did some cleanup today, but we did lose power around 4 a.m. and didn't get it back until just this afternoon.

You can see here where one of the paper birches fell into a squirrel's nest. Many of our trees are old, especially the birches, toppling over during storms.

Leaf clusters were falling like snowflakes in the high wind. I guess we'll begin raking early, green leaves scattered around instead of the usual brown in the fall. That's a "to do" for tomorrow.

And Tom, what was he up to? Well, the final manuscript had to be sent off yesterday, hurricane or no hurricane and Tom was making sure I kept my place for last-minute changes. Each of those paper clips represents an edit. There were about thirty of them! What a big help he was!

National Geographicat World: Caverns

2011-08-26T03:28:00.000-07:00

In a rare opportunity to explore underground caverns as yet undiscovered, the team has stumbled upon the most unusual sight.

In the largest, most awe-inspiring cavern of them all, one junior explorer was heard to say, "Are those stalagtites or stalagmites? I always get those two confused."

Of course, once the giant cat closed his mouth and swallowed, it really didn't matter.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Jeez, all kidding, aside, Tom, I better get you to the dentist to get those back teeth cleaned.

You just don't want to say the word "vet."

You're right.

Anyway, that's next on our list.

Why do you get such a kick out of my yawns?

I don't know. I just do. They can say so much sometimes.

Oh.

I even mention one of your yawns in the book. It helps to explain the relationship you have with the housekeeper's son.

I don't like him.

Exactly.

Here goes:

Young Father Will and Jerry are chatting in front of the rectory. The priest is on an errand and the young man has just arrived:

Will spent most free nights with a good book and the cat.

"Does he turn the pages?" Jerry laughed.

"No, he just adds to the plot."

"Really?"

"He sits and looks over my shoulder and his purrs get louder when there's suspense."

"That's pretty cool."

"It is. Once in awhile, we get disturbed, but not very often."

"I miss him. I can't have any pets in my new place."

Not a cat lover at the beginning, Will couldn't imagine life now without Tom. "I'm sorry to hear that."

The priest saw a couple cross over to their side of the street, then turn and point in the opposite direction. Looked like they were lost. Jerry hadn't noticed.

"Come on over later," Will suggested.

"I'd like that!"

"I'm sure Tom'll be thrilled."

Will and Jerry looked back at the front window just in time to see the cat in the middle of a head-splitting yawn, ears pinned back and teeth bared in a soundless shriek.

"Yeah," said Jerry, cracking up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everyone, please stay safe. At a time when we're all experiencing changes in our lives, we're facing a storm the likes of which we haven't seen in quite awhile. Thoughts and prayers are with all of you in the CB. We think of you any time there's news in your area. As for us here, we're a little nervous, but I'm putting lead weights on Tom to make sure he doesn't blow away.
Take care everyone!

Hugs,
Tom & Mom Julie

Looking for Home Sweet Home

2011-08-19T02:57:00.000-07:00

A day late and a dollar short, that's me, but that won't stop my introducing some kitties in Fairfax, Virginia whose situation was brought up by Maine Coon Cat Rescue. I'm a proud member of that group since I was once a stray myself.

It was Black Cat Appreciation Day a few days ago and we missed it, but we want to tip our hats to a couple of beauties: the cutest, most adorable black furries ever:

While we're waiting for them to turn around and say hello, we want to introduce Sparky, a member of the black cat family.

He's a kitty just a kibble more handsome than I am at 5 years old. He's checking on his looks in the mirror just like I do, making sure they're still there. He was only 2 months old when he was left behind and found his home.

Now, we have the cute Sweet Pea, daughter to Peanut. Sorry, turns out mumsy's a bit camera shy.

Their dad, father to Sparky, too, has to give them up and he is heartbroken. He has to be out of his apartment by August 26th and would like to find homes for them by then. He rescued Peanut and Sweet Pea at an RV campground when the owner of the place said he would catch them (they were feral) and have them put down. That was a year and a half ago. Peanut, the mother, is 3 and Sweet Pea is 2. They both have their shots and are spayed. Sparky, too, has all his shots and is neutered. They have been kept indoors.

Their temperament? Sparky is a lovebug, but can be aggressive when he plays. Sweet Pea is shy until she gets to know you, and Peanut, is a sweetheart.

If you know anyone who would like to adopt them, keeping the mother and daughter together if possible, please email us.

Thanks a bunch!

Tom

A Word From Our Sponsor

2011-08-12T03:26:00.000-07:00

I don't watch much TV, but when I do, I really notice the commercials.

There's one that asks you to find your own beach.

I've tried.

Where am I supposed to look? I sit on a Catholic rectory windowsill, for cod's sake! And, what about those people who sit in separate tubs? Nevermind, I'm digressing again..

I think about how wonderful life is, then somebody has to come along and tell me I need to be someplace else. I just don't know how to manage it.

I have thoughts about people on beaches.

They look quite happy.

I think of palm trees, sunsets and a little luau music.

All while I'm lying on my own beach.

Bring on the hula girls!!

--Tom

Our Day Worldwide!

2011-08-08T03:08:00.000-07:00

World Cat Day happens to fall on Mancat Monday. Purrfect!

Mom Julie has insisted on taking over this post for today. I'll sit off to the side while she writes, hoping to bask in the glow of praise and celebration.

Thanks, Tom.

In the show The Honeymooners, Ralph tells Alice, "You're a pip, Alice." Suspecting it's an affectionate insult, it happens often enough for her to take it in stride, knowing she loves him for all his foolishness. It's that way with Tom and me. The old cat may as well call me a pip because he knows he already has that soft spot in my heart.

He lets me think I'm in charge, but pushes my buttons and rules the roost. This is his day to celebrate this strange yet affectionate relationship, a highlight of all the things that make him a cat, a wonderful four-legged inspiration for an entire congregation all in my head. Imagine that. He's also been there for the challenges, the wee early morning hours of work, a few tears and the decisions. (He's seen me through an awful lot of stuff lately).

So cheers to you, Tom and all the kitty companions who make our lives a better place, or are with us in spirit.

Happy Cat Day!

I couldn't have done it without you!

For this picture, I had the camera balanced on my shoulder. His paw will be on my arm quite often as I move the mouse (his mouse).

--Julie

Go Fish!

2011-08-05T02:29:00.000-07:00

For your mouth-watering enjoyment, furriends---ta-da:

A new recipe from the parish kitchen!

I'm tickled to my whisker tips! The housekeeper has come up with a treat which is a real tribute to one of my passions--fish.

The only thing is, it doesn't taste like fish. It isn't grilled, sauteed, or fried. It just looks like fish or little fishies, actually, swimming around in their little pond.

It was so nice of her to make this for me, but not for a moment did I think they were really fish, or rather goldfish, especially since I was spying on her as she made it.

If you would like to create your own pond, here is the recipe:

Go Fish!

3 oz. box of lime Jello or any color you want the fish to swim in
a handful of baby carrots (the organic ones are more tapered)
celery stalk greens (optional)

In a small glass rectangular or round dish, mix the Jello according to package directions. Wash carrots and lightly peel, setting the "fish" into the Jello.

Put into refrigerator and every so often check on them, moving the carrots around to where they look most feline-yummy looking life like. Eventually they will set.

When they were first put in, it was funny because the carrots started acting like real fish in that they wanted to hang out along the edge of the dish or gang together on one end. Even when they were left alone, they "swam" when nobody was looking.

Enjoy!

--Tom

Po-Purrreee

2011-07-29T04:47:00.000-07:00

A little of this 'n that this week:

As a cat, I'm able to sell anything.

Step right up ladies and gentlemen and I'll show you the creme de la creme, the once-in-a-lifetime, one of a kind, best of the rest..vehicle of your dreams! And--don't forget to help yourself to a little fried chicken and a beverage!

****

A man was teaching his wife to drive. As they were going down a hill, the brakes failed and she screamed, "Help! What do I do?" "Brace yourself," he replied, "and try to hit something cheap."

****

In the "Shouldn't This Be Working?" department:

We've had a problem with rodents. There are holes everywhere and the housekeeper decided to do something about it. Since predators' scents are a hot item in garden shops, she reasoned that seasoned (hehe) cat litter around the holes just might work. We tried it. The varmints are still around.

And, finally, to quote an old buddy of mine from a previous life, Walter Cronkite: "..and that's the way it is."

Have a good weekend, furriends!

--Tom

Lemonade and Snow

2011-07-22T04:00:00.000-07:00

Tom.

Tom?

What?

How're you doing in all this heat?

It's awful.

My ears are sticking to my head.

Poor baby. I had an idea that might help you and your furriends stay cool. Are you game?

Sure.

We'll start with holy water on ice (it's lemonade).

Oooh, I feel cooler already.

Then, I want you to look at this picture while I share with you a poem by Robert Frost.

Stopping by the Woods on a Snowy Evening

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

How's that?

It's purrfect!

Anybody want to borrow my mittens?

--Tom

Toes (Oh, Those?)

2011-07-15T04:04:00.000-07:00

One, two, three, four..

What am I here licking for?

Five, six, seven, eight..

In between the toes tastes great!

Six, seven, eight, nine..

Nip, crackers, fish and wine..

Having fun with toes and rhyme!

Have a good weekend, everybody!

--Tom

Tribute to a Friend

2011-07-08T04:41:00.000-07:00

To the soft strains of Scheherazade and the quiet of contemplation, I write this. I'm not a cat who finds words to reach the soul so easily, but when my heart is wrenched wide open, it's the soul I turn to for comfort. You were a wise, old sage who knew the value of silence and the benefit of insight.

You made me laugh with that inevitable British humour (see, Whicky, I even spelled it your own distinctive way). You were one of the first to comment on my life, accept my little world and its stories I enjoy telling so much.

Speaking of stories, I want to reminisce a little, if I could. Here are some of your words of wisdom. A few cracked me up mercilessly, others were said so well I was content to read them over and over. I hope you don't mind my sharing.

_____________________________

February 19, 2010 A visitor didn't like me.

"The only animals to have a dark side are humans. Your delicious sprawl on the table.."
-You knew all about expressive gestures!

March 6 A post about being underfoot

"We have experienced the lumpen footfalls of the lumbering humans. We taught ourselves to herd humans mainly toward the kitchen where the food lives."
-I love the word "lumpen."

April 17 My windowsill post

"There's a slight glaze over your eyes that gives away your nip habit, but a little of what you fancy does you good. Give my regards to Vinny if he's about."
-Your later comments helped us reconcile.

May 29 When I wrote a post about female temptresses, one even sent a seductive photo

"Could you not contemplate even one small mutual grooming session with that very pretty ladycat?"
-'Mutual grooming?' Harhar, Whicky!

And, finally, the most thought-provoking comment of all, my furriends:

In June of last year, I had a post listing all of the things I would do before I died. Some were funny, others were more about purpose. Whicky's comment was the best.

"My dying wish would be for every human child to have an education in animal welfare."

Whicky, your words are our tribute. What we do to fulfill your wish is your legacy.

We love you.

--Tom

Fireworks

2011-07-01T18:20:00.001-07:00

Oh. My. Cod. All sorts of news this week and fireworks to celebrate at the end!

The Pope tweeted on Twitter and we decided to follow him. Doesn't he look like a nice man? Loves cats, I heard. Nice chair. Great for cat hair.

My book is now official, launching in November, maybe sooner. I can't believe it--finally! This week, Julie signed on with Inkwater Press out of Portland, Oregon. I can count on my umpteen toes the times she said, "Be patient, my friend, any day now." There was much head scratching, which I enjoyed on my part. Then, we were ready to take the paw-lunge. Smoochies to Acquisitions Editor Sean Jones!

I totally know the work is just beginning. There's much to be done, including publicity photos. Here's one we could use. Don't I look good with a blue background? (No, Tom, you look better behind a bar.)

Cheers! Happy Fourth, everybody!

Tom's Short Story

2011-06-24T18:46:00.000-07:00

As everyone knows, we had a "Take Your Pet to Work Day."

There was only one problem. My writer human got confused. She thought it was "PUT Your Pet to Work." I didn't know any different. My not-a-care-in-the-world life turned into a day-long sweatshop.

I'm so disgusted, tired and overworked. I didn't get my break--okay, breaks. My lunch was late. I couldn't snack. There were no toys. All I did all day long was work, work, work.

Finally, after being hunched over the keyboard, suffering from catmal toenail sin-drome, editing over and over with only a bowl of holy water for sustenance, my short story was finished. And, when I say short, I mean cat short.

Here it is:

Once upon a time in a cat box far, far away, there lived a gnome. He was lucky because the box he lived in was always kept immaculately clean. He didn't know why, but he liked living in gravel. He was about the size of cat poop. Only trouble was, when the box was cleaned, he was scooped out, too. He didn't know what to do. Then, he got a bright idea. He would wear a bright, red hat! That way, he would be undisturbed.

That's why, to this day, gnomes wear little red hats!

What do you think?

--Tom

Father's Day

2011-06-17T16:36:00.000-07:00

Father's Day is Sunday, Tom.

That's right!

I thought we could give Father Will a book and Jack a pipe.

He smokes a pipe, now?

Yes, it's on his bucket list--something he always wanted to try.
What do you think?

Give me that bad boy.

Cats don't smoke pipes, Tom. Besides, there's no tobacco.

Can I play with it, maybe?

Or, give the stem a good bite, isn't that what they say?

Yes, Tom. Or, I can scratch you with it.

Ooh, right there...thaaaat's it!

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

Tom Talking to Hymnself

2011-06-11T02:41:00.001-07:00

I try to be a good cat. I don't always make it to every single Mass, but that's all right because Will and Jack say I've become too much of a distraction when people want to pray. I love how issues come out of nowhere! Anyway, so I run in and out of the pews, jump on laps during the sermon (which is welcome, believe me), but that's just enhancing the worship experience, I say.

I personally think people should pray wherever they happen to be. Like this kitty. I know he was saying his prayers!

Brave kitty!

--Tom

It's Not Vinny, but...

2011-06-04T03:04:00.000-07:00

Finally, everything is green and leafed out from all the rain. There's actually something to see when I look out into the garden, a few squirrels and birds..

This week, though, I had the shock of my life.

A cat!

Right by the birdbath!

There he was! In the exact spot where Vinny used to sit and stare back at me. Could it be him but in new fur?

We stared at each other for awhile, saying a lot with our eyes. I gave him a happy smile that I was surprised and delighted by his visit. He "told" me he'll be coming by more often now that he knows I'm here. I said I would try to get outside when I could.

I looked away for a minute and when I looked back, he was gone.

Where did he go? I felt tears and turned away from the window. I'll have to keep my paws crossed that he returns. Or, maybe, it's a she? Oopsie, I was so furlustered and excited, I forgot to ask.

--Tom

1912-1927

2011-05-28T02:58:00.001-07:00

This Memorial Day weekend, we are remembering our loved ones. I wanted to have a memorial of my own involving a very special cat. In order to do that, there's only one place to go and that is Purr-n-Fur. The site has the story of the original Tom the church cat.

There's not a picture of him which is a shame, but what's left of his memory is a little grave by the main door of St. Mary's Redcliffe in Bristol, England.

Look at this huge place! He must have felt really small.

When I first introduced little Tom over a year ago, I received a comment from Whicky Wuudler who lives nearby. He said his mom visited this spot and put flowers on the grave. If we could only do the same!

Just think, for all the spiritual quiet, the occasional sound of an organ or the creak of benches as people begin their prayers, nothing brings the soul closer to Heaven than communicating with a little guy on four legs.

This weekend, I invite you to go to Purr-n-Fur (it's in my Little Black Book on the sidebar) and enjoy Patrick Roberts' cats in all their walks of life and history.

There'll be a surprise for you, my friends, on the home page...purrr!

--Tom

Chasing Whimsy

2011-05-21T02:55:00.000-07:00

I'll never die of thirst--boredom, shock, maybe--but never from lack of water.

The housekeeper is a fanatic about making sure I have bowls everywhere so if I need a drink, I won't have far to go. Sometimes, I have two bowls, one gigantic whisker-wide one and another so little, there's more on the floor than on my tongue. Of course, that's the one I pick.

I can't believe I'm on the subject of water. Jeez, talk about a slow news day. It's been so quiet lately, my opinions are suffering from neglect.

I can't even think of a joke to tell. Maybe I'll try a limerick for my pal over at WALC- claw radio - to try on his listeners, but I'd like to share them with you first.

Here goes:

There was a young cat from Vermouth
Whom everyone thought quite uncouth
He'd swear at the stars
Pinch the ladies in bars
With the excuse he was born in Duluth.

Oh, Lord--sorry, folks.
Let me try another one. Let me see--

There was an old cat from O'Keefe
Who was full of blarney and beef
There was always a story
About his own glory
We'd call the dogs in for relief.

Then, of course, there's the one framed in the rectory which everybody loves:

There once was a church with a cat
One day by the altar he sat
Listening to prayers in awe
Wriggling mouse in his jaw
Communion was never the same after that.

*sigh*

Julie has a bit of news. Her letter to the editor is being featured in The Writer magazine for this month and, she's talking to a publisher. How would you like me all wrapped up for Christmas?

Hugs,
Tom

I Get Letters...

2011-05-14T02:48:00.000-07:00

Here comes the mailman.

I've been getting a lot of letters lately. Mary Lou, my housekeeper and ever-cheerful slave thinks I should answer them. Sometimes, there are notes of admiration which she refuses to frame, letters asking questions they know I have time to answer (do they think I do nothing all day?) and mysterious packages with presents addressed to Tom the Church Cat.

This week, I thought I would include one of the letters concerning the rectory. Here it is:

Dear Father Tom,

I've seen people sneak into the rectory through the back door, like they don't want anyone to see them. Why do they do that and do they have a good reason to?

Signed,
Birdwatcher turned Peeping Tom

Dear Peeping Tom (your name's Tom, too!)

Anyhow, everybody uses all doors here, but the back door is used by appointment only if the person's business is highly confidential. Obviously, that isn't working very well if you are catching sight of them. The priests will have to start making other arrangements.

As far as the nature of their visit, I try to find out the big secret. Jack or Will shut me out of the room they're in, but mostly to send a message. They know darn well I can hear every word with my cat ears. At times, they will have confessions in the rectory, too, and they even hear each other's which to me is weird, but that's when I really want to hear what's going on!

The housekeeper never confesses anything.

--Tom

Hooah! Amen.

2011-05-07T02:46:00.000-07:00

This week's events have rendered me speechless--almost.

It has been one for the Ages. Not only have my friends the Navy SEAL Team Six done an amazing job, their service to our country is second to none. If they would have me, I would like to become a Navy SEAL chaplain.

Tom??!!

I aim to be a cross between Father Mulcahey on MASH (see, they have big letters, too) and Rambo. I haven't tried it, but I know I could hold my breath under water for two minutes. I would be praying the whole time and cringing at the thought of being suspended in the dreaded H2O, but I'd do it, just to prove myself worthy. I already have claws which are deadly weapons, I am very good at keeping evil at bay, and I honestly and truly have six-pack abs--you just can't see them with all my fur.

I wear camo well, too. (did you hear about the guy who liked wearing camouflage but had trouble finding himself?) and, best of all, I am very good at keeping secrets. The whole time I've been at Temptation, I never once told what I've heard in the confessional. Now, if that isn't restraint, I don't know what is.

So, my friends, I'm the purrfect candidate to keep our men safe and strong--and close to the Man upstairs. And, at the end of every mission, I know I would get the biggest dish of ice cream on the planet.

--Tom

A Special Message

2011-04-30T02:20:00.000-07:00

There's been so much going on, it's making my head spin.

Through all of this, I have come to the conclusion that the colors yellow and red hold a special significance. They remind us of candle flames now flickering on both sides of the Atlantic, in celebration and remembrance. There's also the red and gold of the British Queen's guards. (Can you imagine getting caught in all of those legs?)

In honour of the Royal Wedding, I am not only sporting my distinguished roman collar, but also adorned in cat-sized vestments. Another rich display of red and gold, colours that go well with any shade of fur.

I admit, I do look a little mussed, though. That's from all the attention I've enjoyed!
(Many thanks to Ann at Zoolatry for my distinguished look.)

--Tom

Easter Cravings

2011-04-23T02:42:00.000-07:00

I am living a life without chocolate. Easter bunnies come in dark, regular and white chocolate. I always get a basket with a bunny in it, but nothing I could sinfully crave.

Mary Lou will give me whipped cream, ice cream, cream cheese, Baileys Irish Cream (hehe, just kidding) and just plain light cream. I eat cheese sprinkled, crumbled, chopped, petrified yet still good and on very rare occasions, attached to traps and dead mice. I wonder if the little guys have a Rainbow Bridge..?

Anyway, so what do I crave? Something you can't put in a wrapper, shape like a bunny or kiss, or melt with marshmallows. It's the sun, especially this time of year. It turns my purrs into a melody each and every time. I will go out of my way to find a sunspot, wallow in the puddle of it and snooze, enjoying wonderful dreams.

Of eating chocolate.

Happy Easter everyone! May there be sunshine whenever you crave it.

--Tom

Thinking Outside the Cube

2011-04-16T02:17:00.000-07:00

I guess you could say I'm creative.

I have a blog where I get to play around with stuff, part imagination and part fact, tell jokes and give my commentary. This week, something came up that was a complete surprise.

Here is a typical cat cube in a nice, fishy shade of blue, complete with dangling thingie inside. I really have no use for something like this. For an eavesdropping parish cat like me, I would miss way too much!

What I could use is a couch. Everybody else has one, but not me. I decided with a little effort (like jumping up and down on it), I could morph the cube into something useful.

It was time to give my creation a try and, lo and behold, it was very comfy, even if I'm hanging off a bit.

I love it, especially since Mary Lou put a cute penguin nip pillow on it and Father Will added the doily.

Home, sweet home!

--Tom

Back In The Kitchen Again

2011-04-09T02:27:00.001-07:00

There's one place in the rectory I've found to be the best for exploring, and that's in the kitchen.

A few weeks ago, we celebrated Pecan Day with the housekeeper sending me on a mission in the cabinets to look for those celebrated nuts.

Once I got inside, I made my way around molasses, popcorn and croutons. I felt like I was on safari, sniffing the wild smells of gelatin and vanilla extract.

I knocked over food coloring. What? What color was it in the first place? Is there something I should know? Never mind. Let me see, ooh, the confectioner's sugar was like a pillow, the smell of cornstarch gave me goose pimples, and I found a hidden canister of quick grits. Anyhow, when all was said and done, there were no pecans.

What I did discover was a box mix of pecan cluster bars. Mary Lou was happy and my quest had ended. It was exhausting!

By the way they made a delicious dessert with whipped cream on top. Before I forget--the pecan never made it big in the rest of the world. It's strictly a born-in-America nut like me!

--Tom

Winter: Enough Already

2011-04-02T02:17:00.000-07:00

After brushing the cat litter from my fountain pen, I sat down and wrote the following:

Dear Winter,

I've had it up to my whisker-tips. Another snowfall. This is not Broadway. There are no encores. It's time to say goodbye!

I know it's a bummer being monochromatic (burrp! I just ate which gives me the amazing ability to use big words), but please don't make spring wait, with its pretty flowers and everything turning green. We're antsy. The first day of spring has arrived. Didn't you know? You may as well accept the fact there are no more footlights. It's time to take the hat and go.

By all that is holy, we in the north country can't wait for: FLOWERS!

Here's a picture of me looking out at the ivy last fall:
(I know a parishioner named Ivy. What a sweet name!)

And look at these--beautiful green leaves with a stem of hearts running through them:

Winter, say goodbye so we can open windows to let in the fresh air, the birdsong (oh, yeah) and the smell of things growing. It's time to rest yourself and dream your own dreams.

Most sincerely,
Tom the Church Cat

Oh, the Randyman Can..

2011-03-26T02:43:00.000-07:00

I said awhile ago that I had some posts mentioning Vinny. For his fans, there's this:

I heard there's deadly bacteria in a cat's mouth. I am appalled. How did anyone come up with that, anyway? Did they get deathly ill from a cat kiss?

All these years I have led the chastest of lives, complete with sanitary habits. I got snipped long before the urge struck me to spread my seed like Vinny Blackwhisker. The only thing I have been busted for is marking my territory with my back-ended signature.

You see, we cats have a problem. We are neither right-handed nor left-handed. But, we are back-ended. We leave our mark on the vertical dotted line of life. So, if there are germs to speak of, they can be found on surfaces that belong to us anyhow.

All of my anointings have not been a bed of roses. The housekeeper went nuts when she found out one morning that I had marked the cat box room in one corner. I was almost afraid I'd be turned out. I don't know what made me do it. I honestly wasn't even thinking. I sniffed around, then, wham-o.

Anyhow, back to the germs. People have had cats for eons and survived. But, I think the next time I see Vinny, I'll lick him just in case!

* * *

We haven't had a joke in awhile. There's been scratching at my inbox for a good one. Here we go:

A big Texas fat cat and a Boston tortie met on a plane headed for Miami. Of course, the big cat wanted to brag about his state. "Texas is in my heart and soul," he boomed. "Our heroes are the bravest men in the world. Did your Boston ever have anyone as brave as Sam Houston?" The tortie was quiet for a moment, then said, "Well, there was Paul Revere." The Texas kitty snorted, "Paul Revere? Isn't he the one who ran for help?"

Have a good weekend!

--Tom

Moon No Match

2011-03-19T03:25:00.000-07:00

It has no special powers despite its huge size. There is no magic. Mystical messages are not expected from it. Some higher tides will occur in those areas prone to be affected, but overall, no need to worry; unless, of course, the object falls in. We don't want to think about that, though. All we want to do is take in the rare beauty and magnificence of the sight.

It is a rare phenomenon that will render us speechless. It is an unbelievable 16 percent bigger than normal and brighter. Every living creature will behold its wonder, will tremble at its enormity:

"Le chou grande!" (the big cabbage!)

"Is Goodyear stamped anywhere?"

* * *

Mary Lou thinks I should go on a diet. I say pish-posh. Bigger is better. Ask the moon!

--Tom

Shhh!

2011-03-12T02:55:00.000-08:00

Shhh! Men are in hot pursuit, old folks are screaming, and Mary Lou can't find her article on cat grooming..oh, hi, everybody!

I thought it might be a good idea to share what's on the nightstands at the rectory. I found the following:

In Jack's room is American Brutus by Michael W. Kauffman. Being a former history teacher, Jack always grabs the historical stuff. The book is about John Wilkes Booth, Abraham Lincoln's assassin.

In Will's room the old folks are screaming..well, not really. He's reading 61 Hours, a Lee Child thriller featuring hero Jack Reacher. I love to cuddle and feel Will tense up when Jack gets the bad guys along with a strong cup of coffee and fifteen sugars.

In Mary Lou's space, there's just about anything to read. She has a bunch of stuff lying around all the time, so it's hard to say what's she's reading.

Wait a minute...what the heck?!..I'm reading a book, too? Who put this next to me when I was minding my own business, sleeping??..Huh?...Jaaaaack...!

Well, to all the readers here at the rectory and out in cyberland, have fun, don't read anything I wouldn't read and always keep one eye open when you snooze so somebody doesn't pull a fast one!

--Tom

WWII in Braids

2011-03-05T01:49:00.000-08:00

More of these sun puddles are cropping up and am I happy! Look how nice I look against the braided rug!

It was pretty torn and dirty when Julie purchased it at a garage sale, but it became part of my novel. Wait 'til you hear its story revealed in this scene when parishioners Beth and Foster came over to visit:

"Her mother made it? The whole thing?"

Beth admired the stitchwork and the rhythmic colors in the braiding as it swirled around in an Americana display--deep reds, blues and a rich green woven along the edge. In its center, each color broke up into speckles, clipped and scattered like confetti. It wasn't just functional, it was a work of art, and hard work at that. The entire rug had to be at least eight feet wide and thick.

"Beautiful!" Beth moved her feet over to the side. "I hate to step on it!"

"Look closely at the dark green part around the outside of the rug," Will pointed out.

"What about it, Will?"

"Mary Lou's mother took her father's World War II uniform and weaved it into the rug."

"Really?"

Foster and Beth looked closer at the outer ring and the deep green of the army wool.

"Talk about recycling," Will said.

"That's a really special rug." Foster had done his share of military service and preserving memories like this was as unique as he'd ever seen.

The part about the army uniform was not made up. That is actually what is sewn along the edge. If you were to count the "braids," from center to edge, you would find 57. You didn't know I could count, did you? The rug measures over nine feet diagonally. According to its previous owner, it was entirely hand-braided and sewn together by his mother.

It's a very special rug, I know, but it took me the longest time not to sharpen my claws on it. Talk about ballistic! Mary Lou went nuts the first time I stretched with my claws extended.

Imagine if cats could make things like this. I might have thumbs, but I wouldn't even try. I'll just have to sit on it to make it look its best!

--Tom

Speechless Saturday

2011-02-26T03:16:00.000-08:00

Wow!

I like my new site! It makes me want to break out in "My Blue Heaven," but I really do like it!

Julie says..Tom, I had a few scary moments due to my inexperience, but I managed to have a little fun while navigating around. I'm still not finished. There are some things I want to add to the sidebar, a few touches here and there.

Tom: Can't wait!

Mancat Monday-100th Post!

2011-02-21T05:16:00.001-08:00

This being Mancat Monday, I'm going to assert myself and get some things off my chest, which is essentially the same thing. Plus, I have catching up to do.

It's a good thing I didn't get my paws on the Purrfurmance Review because my dearest friend in the world, my creator, my human has been a procrastinating derelict. Wait a minute. That didn't sound so good. Sounds like she's homeless in an alley or something...

Let me explain. Number one: the Blogger Award from meowmeowmans. She's supposed to reveal seven things about herself or me or somebody at Temptation Parish and she hasn't done it. She's also supposed to pass it on to other people--

Julie says..Wait a minute, Tom. I've been working and editing and researching. Can I be forgiven? Anyhow, I've put a few together. Will these do?

1. A parishioner disappears.

2. Tom begins to remember where he came from.

3. Will and Tom like the music of Billie Holliday. The housekeeper, George Jones.

4. Vinny loved potato chips.

5. Julie was baptized twice.

6. She used to write under a stairway in "writer's hollow."

7. Tom got tangled up with a porcupine once.

As far as giving the award away, Tom, there are so many who deserve the award for their beautiful blogs, my message to them is: please copy and paste it if you would like to add it to your site!

Tom says..Speaking of sites, my friends, that brings me to topic #2:

I need my site refreshed. It's been over a year now and it's the same old, same old. Jeez! Julie said she tried to make changes but lost some things in the process which scairt her and she had to contact...yada..yada..yada..yack..yack..yack..and nothing ever got done.

I am going on strike until I see new cyberdigs! That's final! (Please?) (Pretty please with little fishies on top?)

Julie says..Tom, dearest cat in the world, my second heartbeat, I will have a new home for you this week, one I hope you will like. It may take me a whole day to get it just right, but I'm going to give it a shot. Sorry, it's taken me so long. Your handsomeness just made it so easy to keep you right where you are!

Is that it, Tom?

I think so.

Hugs?

Hugs!

Smoochies, too?

O-kay..

x x
xox xox
xoxox xoxoxo
xoxoxoxoxoxox
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
xoxoxoxoxoxo
xoxoxoxoxo
xoxoxoxo
xoxoxo
xoxo
xo
x
JR

The Paw's the Thing

2011-02-18T16:03:00.000-08:00

Look what was dropped off at the rectory the other day!

A plush toy mouse house! The lady said she thought of me when she saw it, and inside are two juicy..er..um..I mean..very nice mice.

Our housekeeper wasn't satisfied to leave me alone and let me play with them in peace. No..she thought we should do a play.

A play? "Places, please!" she says.

There once was a house with a little mouse who didn't survive an attack of the paw (never open the door to strange paws, mouselings!)

Persistent paws, paws with claws, looking for lunch! (One mouse tries to escape through the window. Give it up, fool!)

The carnage! Cat and paw victorious! THE END

"Let's take it again from the top," she says.

You bet!
-- Shakespaw Tom

A Day for Hearts

2011-02-14T02:05:00.000-08:00

In honor of the Grammys, I have composed this special Valentine:

TO LUCY

It's your fabulous eyes
That cannot disguise
Your feelings I'm sure
Aren't a whim.

Oh, Lucy so luscious
Your face is so precious
It fills my old heart to the brim.

There's a song in my ticker
Love more than a flicker
Let the angels break out
In a chorus

So loudly to start
Robustly impart
My desire for
A sweet Valentine's for us!

Happy Valentine's Day, Lucy!

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, EVERYONE!
--Tom

Julie says--
This has always been one of my favorite holidays. Not because I always had a Valentine, but because of the sweetness of the day, a time when everyone smiles with their hearts, and we look for brighter tomorrows!
Valentine wishes go out to everyone in the CB from me, too!

The Power of Paws

2011-02-12T03:10:00.000-08:00

The paw speaks!

Would you believe this is how the decision is made for the next book to be read? No, really! I pick out a book from a pile and "point" with all of my toes. And, what you see here is one paw, too, a paw of polydactyl perfection! I'm told Ernest Hemingway's cats had mucho many toes on each front foot, too, and not a tap dancer among them! Anyhow, all seriousness aside, any cats with multiple toesies are called Hemingway cats as another name for us.

I have more than my share of toes on each paw, but only in front. They help me on a keyboard and make me almost human when someone shakes my hand. (Do you know how hard it was to get this shot? I was in no mood, post or no post!!)
I have a couple of claws that grow in between the toes, too. They have to be clipped and I only let the vet people do it. They cuddle and coo the whole time which I love!

On another note..

I wish I could shake the hand/paws of our Secret Paws friends in Prague, Czech Republic. Their package finally arrived just in time for Valentine's Day after many, many weeks enroute to America!

We couldn't be more pleased with everything! Thank you so much for your handmade toys and yummy treats and brand-new collar for Julie's dog, Trapper, the golden retriever. He's very happy, too! Thank you, Tiny, Lautrec and Ellwood!

Wordless Wednesday Woofie

2011-02-09T17:25:00.000-08:00

Cabin Fever

2011-02-04T16:11:00.001-08:00

People around here have been up to no good!

I think I know who's behind it, but the thing is, nobody ever owns up to anything. I know it's not the parishioners or the church group, because they're not here at the rectory long enough to get into this kind of mischief. It reminds me of something about the devil and idleness. How about boredom? The old fork-ed tailed critter must be cranked up now!

As far as the litter box room is concerned, which, by the way is located off the kitchen toward the back--one heck of a place for it, the sign appeared the day after the snowstorm.

A cat notices a lot of things, especially at floor level. Look out, if the snow lasts any longer, you'll start seeing pin-ups by my duty station.

So, my furriends, as you're looking out the window, be sure to keep an eye out around the house. You never know when somebody tries curing cabin fever with something silly!

P.S. I'd like to know what the pope would say about the Vat-i-can, not to mention the liturd-gy!

Cheers and a toast by the fire,
Tom

She Loves Me

2011-02-01T15:06:00.000-08:00

Would you look at this desk! Besides me on it, note the picture of yours truly, framed and right where Julie can look at it every day. She also has the big black and white photo in the living room. Can you believe it? (Vinny's in the kitchen).

Julie tells the story of how whenever she was getting to the part about me in the manuscript I would always come out of nowhere and jump up and get in her face, interrupting her train of thought. How could I interrupt? It was all about me, anyway, right? Actually, I wanted to make sure there were no mistakes or misspellings..

It's awfully cold out and we're going to be getting more snow and even more snow tomorrow. Reminds me of when I was a stray during the winter months. It was no fun, believe me! The Maine Coon fur really did keep me warm though. Being homeless was also the time I took a hankerin' to corn on the cob and other strange food 'cause I used to get so hungry.

Everybody stay warm and say a lot of purrs and prayers for those who don't have a home and are looking for a kind soul to take them in, or at least provide a warm place to rest.

--Tom

A Celebration of Feathers

2011-01-28T18:23:00.001-08:00

This is one weekend that cats and birds can raise a toast together.

"The Raven" was published on January 29, 1845 and a phenomenon began regarding the famous poet Edgar Allan Poe. He never had a cat that we know of, but we do know that "Nevermore" was the name of a black cat owned by somebody-or-other, we can't remember who.

I am a cat, not a journalist. Please. I do have another bit of information about the poem, though. Poe published it anonymously and received the hefty sum of 15 bucks for it. Rumor has it that he eventually tamed the raven and taught it to quit repeating itself.

Since we're on the subject of birds and cats, we think it's curious how sometimes cat fur resembles feathers. Look at Angel Vinny's. We know he has wings now, but here it looks as if he has fevvers, too--complete with a sun halo to make each one glow.

Let's celebrate our famous bird day by taking a look in the mirror and admiring ourselves. Whether feather or fur, we are beautiful--furever more!

--Tom

Shelter Awareness Day

2011-01-24T04:20:00.000-08:00

See this picture of me? That's a shelter face!

Vinny was in the shelter, too. Julie volunteered there years ago until it became impossible to go without bringing home a cat.

Any dogs or cats we've had were rescued and that's the theme of this very important day. If a pet is not in your future, then give to the local shelter. It'll do your heart good! They have need for the simplest of things; just give them a call and find out what you can do.

Taking care of animals is all part of responsible citizenship. Spaying and neutering is so important. Education is even more so, as children grow up to either respect the animals that share the Earth with us or they don't. It's up to us.

No matter what our circumstances, most of us are living a pretty good life. Let's share it!

--Tom

Sunday Morning Happy Dreams

2011-01-23T07:16:00.001-08:00

I am so tired!

I got excited over the news about the Nevada Humane Society's first ever Cat Convention. They found furever homes for 57 cats! Whew!

They have a no-kill shelter in Reno and are so happy at the thought that they now have more room at their facility for both kitties and woofies! You can find the link here: "http://www.kolotv.com/home/headlines/57_cats_Find_New_Homes_at_Cat_Convention">>
(I hope I did this right)

So, I'm going to dream the sweetest dreams for all those lucky kitties and throw in a few purrayers for those who are still waiting. Your time will come, dear ones!

--Tom

Cuppa Tea & Suspense

2011-01-21T05:16:00.000-08:00

I like doors. I think most cats do. If they're open wide, it's even better, no matter which side you're on. This is one of the many back and side doors we have around here. It's not used very much.

Here we are around the back of the church. This is the door that leads to the sacristy where the priests started the whole idea of layering (bet you didn't know that, he he!) with one thing worn on top of the other and prayers in between.

This was the door left open on that fateful day when Father Will got the bejesus scared out of him...

From A Temptation Tale..

Already late, Will rushed up the steps of the church’s back entrance which faced the rectory. As he pulled open the door, the organ music of the morning’s service roared over him as only age-old pipes can. Tom slipped in but Will stopped on the threshold.

What day was this? Did they somehow see him coming and decide to “play him in?” Maybe the organist just wanted to get things started. Any kind of music, rising slowly, had a soothing effect on those who waited. Nuzzling notes calmed the impatient for what was to come. He could picture each parishioner facing front, shoulder to shoulder and focused. He had missed the warming up exercise. Blasted by sound on top of being late, he became even more rattled, not to mention cold. In his haste, he had forgotten to throw on a jacket.

He strode over to the cabinet that contained everything he needed. He had to be quick. Pulling out the scapular drawers, he lifted out an amice and adjusted it on his shoulders with a quick, requisite prayer, then the alb. It wouldn’t take two seconds and a couple of prayers, he thought, to put everything on over his clothes. As he fumbled with the cincture, he heard the voice of Jack addressing the congregation in welcoming benediction.

Jack?

He had to stop and think. Did he say something last night about taking the Mass for him? At the time, Will was only half-listening. Obviously.

Feeling ridiculous only half-dressed and standing there, he began to take off each piece of religious garb and put it back. He latched the cabinet door.

Enjoying a reprieve and relieved that he hadn’t embarrassed himself, he barely heard the sound of squeaking hinges behind him.

He froze.

In his haste, he had flung the back door shut when he entered, but it remained ajar. He found himself face-to-face with a total stranger just as startled as he.

He wished he still had on at least a few holy items for Mass. It would give him some security as he stood there, wondering what to do next. Regaining his composure somewhat, he decided to speak.

“Is there something I can do for you?”

His visitor stood there with the late morning light behind him, blocking the doorway. In shadow, his features were indistinguishable. His manner indicated an uncertainty as he mumbled something and strode toward Will. He was remarkably deft in his movements.

Will stepped back. He noticed how everything about the man was dark--his hair, overall clothing, and shoes. A sinister harmony approaching the priest. As he drew closer, Will could see into his eyes. There was no expression in them whatsoever, not that he expected any. Either the man had a purpose that was all business or Will was in big trouble. With fluttering stomach and trembling knees, he was about to find out.

The man was older than he, that was obvious. He was spindly, too, and had a strange smell to him, reminding Will of cloves. There was a dampness to the fragrance. It was amazing that in a matter of a few seconds, the mind absorbed those details that had absolutely nothing to do with determining either one’s survival or one’s demise.

For some strange reason that Will couldn’t fathom, the man was keeping his hands in his pockets and doing more looking around than anything else. He would give Will a deep look, then take in the cabinets and check out the rest of the room. As his head turned, turtle-like, his long neck stuck out of an oversized sweater, a thick wool number with rolled up sleeves.

Jack stopped talking for a moment. Nobody moved. The altar’s back room was still as if they were both waiting for something to happen.

The muffled voice of Jack resumed. Will found a strange reassurance in it. He backed up in that direction as the man advanced toward him. As Will moved, the stranger moved. Will watched him then ease around the table, light and silent on his feet.

He was almost within an arm’s length of the priest. Will was scared. He got closer to the sanctuary door. Trying to keep calm, he was picturing the knob in his head, attempting to figure out how to open the door, with it right behind his back. Would he turn it left or right? Should he just turn quickly and pound on the door and yell? What if the organ were to suddenly erupt and nobody heard? He decided on gambling with the doorknob. He reached behind him.

The stranger, discovering his intention, stepped forward more quickly and, as he reached Will, a familiar voice called out.

“Hey!”

~~~~~> Let us know if you enjoyed this excerpt. Hope it didn't add to your wintry chills!

Hugs,
Tom & Julie

This Saturday Funsies!

2011-01-14T17:57:00.001-08:00

This very Saturday is a special day at Jenkinson's Aquarium in New Jersey. It's Penguin Awareness Day! There will be festivities, a feeding schedule posted, penguins to meet and greet, and a general euphoria over anything penguin.

Well.

I decided to have a Father Tom Awareness Day right here at Temptation Parish starting at 9 a.m. Everyone's invited (including penguins). A donation of $10 is suggested, although my cat and woofie furriends can get in with just a bag of treats or a nip toy.

All the fun will be broadcast live on radio station "scratchin' up the hits" WALC-FM featuring announcer/comedian--wait for it--Hullabaloo Harry and his Alley Cat Band. Jack mentioned they had a zither. Good going, Jack!

My feeding schedule is as follows:

HIGH NOON ---- KIBBLE IN THE KITCHEN

SUPPERTIME (5PM) ---- KIBBLE IN THE KITCHEN

ANYTIME ---- KIBBLE IN THE KITCHEN

There will be a mid-afternoon snooze-over for all my furriends.

I don't want to forget yummies for our special guests direct from Mary Lou's parish kitchen. Shown here are her famous shrimp hobby horses.

And, last but not least, there's Father Will who'll be down in the church basement. He knows he's got the blood pressure of every female pulsing over his baby blues, even if he is a priest. He'll be in the dunking booth with a big bag of stilettos right by the tank. A dollar a throw!

It should be fun! Hope you can make it!!

--Tom

Laser Therapy

2011-01-07T16:51:00.001-08:00

Here's a sight that got me tingling in my claws and wishing cats could wear Foster Grants!

I came across this picture of Vinny with laser eyes and I couldn't believe it. I don't think I've ever seen him look so powerful and heaven-like, especially with his bountiful furs. To think I once called him a golden haybag, tsk! tsk!

This look can be very celestial, the kind that fires up halos and creates strong sun rays across a marble floor and empty church pews. I'm thinking maybe it's Vinny who should've sat in the confessional with the priests instead of me. With those eyes boring through to the soul, all sins would be on the table.

Vinny was smart. Nine lives? He could multiply those by two and get one left over. He was always getting out of scrapes in the nick of time and I know those eyes must have given him the edge over the tough cat down the street, even though it turned out they didn't fight. Hey, who would fight someone who can cook your innards with one glance?

Anyway, I wanted to share this picture 'cause I think it's probably the only one I have of the old boy that shows him in the best light...light, get it?

By the way, Patsy's been over here at the rectory so many times, I've lost count. As you might recall, she was Vinny's mom. I've heard a lot of sniffles and offers for me to go over and keep her company. I'm relieved that she hasn't taken anybody up on the offer. I don't want to be around Vinny's things. I'd rather curl up on my pillow and dream of fun times.

Have a good weekend!

A Funny Angel

2011-01-01T08:04:00.001-08:00

Imagine if this angel flapped all his wings at once. First, he couldn't get off the ground, or up from wherever he was; and, second, he would probably knock himself out. You know that commercial where the guy tries to eat the chicken wing and it keeps slapping him? That's the one. It kind of reminds me of that. It also reminds me of Vinny and how he used to make fun of that stained glass angel, wondering about it. He loved the colors that would play on the church floor, though. I caught him in a patch of blue one time and he looked very strange!

I guess reminiscing is part of letting go of an old year and bringing in the new. I am grateful for new friends, the cat blogosphere, woofies I am really, really getting to like so much (wasn't always that way), and visiting. So, a very, very happy New Year to all, and thanks again (I can't thank you all enough) for all of your purrs, prayers and kind thoughts you all took the time to express!

Onward! Would you believe Mary Lou spent an hour--yes, an hour, cleaning my catbox room this morning? What a dear! She scrubbed, sprinkled talcum around (it's a linoleum floor) which made it smell yummy and then made it shine? She said a new Year was as good a time as any to give my hindquarters a fresh start, hehe!

Love,
Tom

My Friend

2010-12-31T16:22:00.000-08:00

Say what? I didn't believe it at first. My piss and vinegar pal has taken off for the Rainbow Bridge? But, he was tough as nails, tougher than I'll ever be. I'm angry and upset.

I've always tried to be good, but honestly, right now, I don't care. It's not fair. It gets me so mad, I don't give a damn about all that's holy! There, I said it, aaarghh!

After awhile, I realized I wasn't making any sense, and Vinny would have been the first one to point it out, too.

I've calmed down a little, but my heart's still all torn up. Vinny and I were good friends.

Julie and I finally had our conversation about him:

Tom: We were supposed to adopt him when Patsy died. That was the plan. What are you going to do about this, with your fancy-shmancy book and everything?

Julie: You're in the book, Tom, but Vinny--well, he was going to have a bigger role on the blog.

Tom: Well, his passing certainly shot that in the a**.

Julie: You're beginning to sound like him.

Tom: You bet. And it feels real good, too.

Julie: Do whatever makes you feel better. It's fine with me.

(a long silence)

Tom: I'd give anything just to talk to him one more time.

Julie: Me, too.

(sniffles)

Tom: I love you, Jul.

Julie: I love you too, precious. We'll get through this, I promise. We'll continue our tales and your blog. I think I even have a couple of posts about Vinny, in fact, that I never used.

Tom: Really? Cool!

* * * * * * * * * * *

Thank you so much for all of your kind words and comfort. I heard from dear ones I didn't even know, but appreciate everything you all have said to help us through. I have read each and every one of your comments over and over. I never, ever imagined I would be sharing such sadness, or be lifted by such kindness. Again, thank you.

--Julie

Why?

2010-12-28T07:09:00.001-08:00

When I was a little girl, all my questions started with "why"--why weren't there altar girls, why did smoke come out of smokestacks and wouldn't it make us sick?

Today, I'm asking why my dearest little man would have to leave this world.

I was with Vinny all last night. I slept on the couch and every couple of hours, I would check on him. His eyes were closed, he was still struggling with his breathing, but there was hope. I was grateful that he wasn't gasping for air, prompting me to have to take him to a vet hospital with strangers and strange equipment and lights in the middle of the night.

This morning, I was hoping he would show signs of improvement, but he didn't. His breathing became deeper and he couldn't move. He was helpless. I stayed with him, continued to give him diluted chicken broth, but I knew I couldn't do any more for him.

The vet clinic down the street opened at eight o'clock and the wonderful vet we saw yesterday was there and we talked on the phone. She told me to bring him right in. She could tell he was nearing the end. The tests from yesterday were back and liver and kidneys were fine, so she suspected the heart was failing. We decided not to let him suffer as his symptoms could sometimes lead to spasms and most of all, fright over what was happening to him. I wanted to help him to the Bridge under her care, talking to him as he left us.

Why? How can we get so close to our little friends and have them for only a short while? Some of us get closer to them than we get to other humans. We trust them and they trust us with every purr and woof. They cuddle with us, no questions ever asked, so accepting of everything and everyone.

Thank you, dear friends for all of your purrs and prayers. I appreciate all of you so very, very much. My writing at least gives me a way to express my grief and share my tears.

--Julie

My Mancat Vinny

2010-12-27T16:22:00.000-08:00

Here is my beautiful golden boy, the 16-year-old Vinny Blackwhisker. I normally don't post during the week, but tonight is an exception. Vinny, with his thyroid problems, now has an upper respiratory infection. I recently adopted a new kitty from the local shelter and that may be how he got it, even though there was no sign initially. Right away, our new addition was put on antibiotics, but Vinny, being vulnerable, picked it up.

Right now, I have a steaming teakettle sitting by his bed where he's curled up and resting. I took him to the vet today (thank God she's just down the street from where we live) and she looked him over, starting him on his own antibiotics. She also took some blood which we had planned for tomorrow to make sure his thyroid was getting enough medication.

Dear friends, I read so many of your blog posts where you patiently give your love and devotion to the pets you hold so dear. I ask for your purrs and prayers for him. His heart is strong. All of his organs are in good shape, but I worry about this latest respiratory illness and pray he doesn't go into distress. He's so thin. I would love to see him robust and healthy again. That would be my wish for the new year.

Well, I have to keep an eye on him. I have the emergency vet hospital's number where I can find it if we should need it during the night. I'm trying to think good thoughts, but I want to be ready, just in case.

As always, I appreciate your being there for us.

--Julie

Christmas Smiles

2010-12-25T06:13:00.000-08:00

Everyone liked this little nativity so much that we decided to show it again, lit up and magical.

I've found with the passing years that each Christmas is very different. There are some that are quiet, far too busy, or even overshadowed by grief. What's so wonderful is there will always be a Christmas to come with promise, new friends and hope for the spirit. I am grateful to all who have made this Christmas for us particularly special. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts!

Tom & Julie

Christmas Eve

2010-12-24T01:44:00.001-08:00

SANTA AND THE CHRISTMAS CATS
(as told to Vinny by his Grammie Blackwhisker)

'Twas the night before Christmas
And each and every mouse
Found cheese in his stocking
Some seeds and a grouse.

The cats were all lined up
By the chimney so bare
Not a stocking around
"We're so sad," they declared.

Suddenly on the roof there arose such a clatter
The startled cats looked up to see what was the matter
A big old guy in a bright red suit
Was coming down the chimney
They saw his black boot!

He discovered there was nothing for the cats at all
He was shocked, dismayed, and not the least, appalled.

He said, "It's unfair!"
"You mice need to share!"
Ashamed, the mice looked at each other and agreed
They had more than enough food to fill every need.
It was then decided all over the house
In the holiday spirit, they'd give up the grouse.

It's so simple, says Nick
In his jolly old way
For everyone to be happy
On this Christmas Day.

Merry Christmas!
--from our Temptation Parish family
Tom, Vinny, Jack, Will, the housekeeper Mary Lou
& creator J.R. Mackenzie
Love to all!

Happy Holidays!

2010-12-17T16:16:00.000-08:00

Excitement's been building for the holidays!

The traffic in and out of the rectory has been crazy, all sorts of goodies are being dropped off, and my naps are almost non-existent. Peace on Earth?! I'd like to know when!

Anyway, please excuse my crankiness. I was so excited and surprised by Vinny's gift this week. It was something I never would have expected or even guessed.

My first reaction was--uh-oh, Cat Nativity? What could he be up to? Well, I needn't have worried. After we lifted up the styrofoam and saw all the figures, we were amazed at how adorable they were!

There were the three kings, a shepherd, angel..

We couldn't believe our eyes! A baby Jesus kitten and Joseph Cat and Mary Cat!

Vinny, you outdid yourself, my friend! I couldn't be happier with your present! It was such a surprise and, in true Vinny fashion, very unique! Thank you so much.

I hope you have the best holiday ever and please give your mom Patsy a big hug from us.

I think I just found a nice, quiet place to sleep. Merry Christmas!

Another Church(the)Cat

2010-12-10T14:40:00.000-08:00

Fur like ermine, meoww! No mattes as far as this eye can see, I'm so jealous! Here is his story:

The DeLaets of Plainwell, Michigan met our friend on the church steps when they went to attend services one Sunday about four years ago. According to Beth Ann DeLaet, a columnist for the local newspaper, this kitty started greeting parishioners on the steps of the Plainwell Methodist Church.

Despite the fact that he was a very friendly little fellow, she was not taken in, no sirreee! They had two cats at home and that was enough! So, we imagine he wanted to try something else. Either that, or this was his way of dubbing his new family. Anyway, she says he followed them to their van in the parking lot, jumped in and sat between the seats as if to say, "Can we go home, now?"

They named him "Church" and he enjoys his life with the DeLaet family. They can't imagine being without him, but that does happen once in awhile. It is then that he gives in to those primal urges sending him outside for a quick refresher on his prior life. He has always returned.

By the way, she mentioned that he bears no resemblance to the cat "Church" in Stephen King's Pet Sematary. There was a cat with that name in that book? Now, that's scary!

My thanks to Beth who shared her story and provided pictures of her handsome boy, prompting this from me--it's one thing to go to church, it's quite another to have Church come to you!

I know that was too corny for words, and I've given Angel Matilda indigestion, but as we all know, I have a weakness for corny jokes. Since we haven't had one in awhile, here's a chuckle as you get your Christmas shopping done:

One shopper was standing in line with another. To pass the time, they started talking about their husbands. "Mine is so hard to buy for," said one. The other said she had no problem at all. Amazed, the woman asked how she did it. "Oh," she said, "my husband's a plumber. As long as he doesn't have to drain it, flush it, stop it or mop it, he's happy."

--Tom

Vinny's View

2010-12-03T17:39:00.000-08:00

Hi, everybody,

I'm Vinny Blackwhisker and old Tom has allowed me to post for him this week. I think it's a double-dog dare as to whether or not I can really do it, whether I'm reliable enough to make sure a post gets done at all.

I'm not in the habit of forgetting things, thank you very much. I like my travel and I travel light. I do as I damn well please. I won't ever have a blog of my own or anything even close. I'm only doing this because Tom doesn't think I will...and, he doesn't think I'll keep it clean.

I thought I'd put in another picture of the two of us. I met Tom when he first came to Temptation Parish. In fact, truth be told, our roles could have been reversed. I might very well have gotten to the housekeeper first, won her over with my charms and been Father Vinny. But, that would have forced me to change.

The holidays are coming up and I can't wait. All the crawl-under or into places will be lit with candles and sparkly things. Yes, I go to church, too, but I lay low. I like it better that way.

So, keep me in your prayers. My thyroid is acting up which means pills, and I look like a stringbean. I'm getting old, too. I'll be turning 17 soon. Little old lady cats are starting to look hot.

In for Tom,
Vinny

Vinny's Humor

2010-11-26T17:04:00.000-08:00

"Good God, you couldn't find another way around..you $%t*head!..I'm a priest!"

Thanksgiving Thoughts

2010-11-25T03:57:00.000-08:00

When the smells start up in the rectory kitchen, they go through the whole house. It's during the holidays that I really find myself underfoot where the action is and, sure enough, I can count on yummies tossed into my dish. If the housekeeper throws a little wide, that's perfectly okay.

This is the time of year that I start thinking more about friends and family. I want to say thanks to all of you who always come by for a visit, share your funny bone reactions to my foolishness, and more than anything, believe in me. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for that.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving, dear ones!

Tom & Julie

A Pat-Down Warning

2010-11-19T16:55:00.000-08:00

I'm ready!

I haven't been scanned yet, nor have I received the once-over, but if I have to show all, I want the world to know that I would willingly expose myself--wait a minute, that didn't sound right--for the health, safety and well-being of everyone, especially lady cats.

Even if my nubbies are gone, I am neither embarrassed nor ashamed to be patted down, inside legs and all. By the way, I am very ticklish right in the groin area, so I would advise all TSA members sporting badge and rubber glove to avoid it altogether. Should that area inadvertently be approached and/or fondled, I will engage in an immediate reaction involving four legs, claws, hissing for effect, and pointed teeth. There are no guarantees of survival.

So, it must be kept in mind the concept of cautious cooperation. I'll cooperate as long as they are cautious!

--Tom

I Brake For Bookworms

2010-11-12T17:49:00.000-08:00

Next week is Children's Book Week. There aren't that many children's books in the rectory, only a few for when we have visitors. They're mostly picture books with trains and little puppies. Not what we have in mind, at all.

You see, I highly doubt I would even exist if a certain author didn't have this thing for talking animals and bunnies in trousers. All of the animals in Thornton W. Burgess' little animal community--Blackie The Crow, Reddy Fox and Grandfather Frog--all became friends with their readers through books.

JRM: That's right, Tom. When I was growing up, my father especially talked about animals and their adventures. My grandfather gave him Uncle Wiggly Longears which he handed down to me. Maybe that's what inspired your special role at Temptation Parish, why you're a puss preaching the straight and narrow.

Tom: As long as I don't have to walk the straight and narrow, I'd never fit. Too fat. Hehehe!

JRM: Tom!

Tom: Okay, okay, a priest. That is a pretty important role.

JRM: You're not really a priest, Tom. The housekeeper just gave you the name Father Tom.

Tom: Can't I be an honorary priest? I forgive sins, don't I?

JRM: Well, you're in on the absolution and penances..

Tom: And...

JRM: You're in the rectory den with the holy water and nips..

Tom: And...

JRM: You officiate at weddings and funerals..so I guess you are!

Tom: Weddings I only dig if they throw catnip, and funerals I'm always afraid someone'll grab me and stick me in the coffin.

JRM: Oh, Tom!

Tom: Don't get any ideas. That's one adventure I can do without!

Hope you enjoy Children's Book Week with memories old and new!

Turning Clocks Back (If We Only Really Could)

2010-11-07T04:52:00.000-08:00

I love this picture taken some years back. If only we could return to then, when Vinny and I got along and our friend the Siamese was in better health. We even posed nicely together.

Now, Vinny is skinny, has lost weight due to hyperthyroidism and my feelings about him alternate between sympathy and regret. Polar opposites we are. He was the one to be inappropriate (ahem--one of these days I'll be more specific, but not on a Sunday) even though he has a more angelic look than I do.

We were a happy little crew and I thought I would share this photo with those of you who don't like to dig back to old posts. Vinny is featured mainly on my blog and isn't in the book. We (J.R.) has enough characters in it as it is.

Getting back to the time, remember it's "fall back." And, make sure there's someone to catch you, hehehe!

--Tom

Red, White and Blue Streak

2010-11-06T02:41:00.000-07:00

I am a very patriotic cat even though I effectively snoozed through last Tuesday's elections and I can't tell donkeys and elephants apart when it comes to politics. I also know it's Veterans Day next week and a bunch of men from the American Legion will be coming by to visit Jack and me. And, if that isn't enough to salute the colors, there's the birthday of John Philip Sousa, the march king today.

Since the classical station is always left on in the parlor, I've heard my share of Sousa marches and been rudely awakened by horns and clashing cymbals. To return the favor, I have come up with my own rendition of "The Caissons Keep Rolling Along" by a Gen. Gruber who wrote it around 1908. My version has been adapted especially for the feline voice and spirit.

So, all together now, friends--Wouldn't it be fun to have a bouncing mouse over the lyrics as we sing?

Ready?

Over here
Over there
There is cat hair everywhere
It's how I know
It's here I belong.

Over here
Over there
There is catnip on the chair
I'm living high on the nip
And the song.

I'm dropping fur
With such vigor--it's a blur
And I can't be remorseful in the least
It keeps the humans on their toes
And I'm sure each one of 'em knows
They can't cuss at me since I am a priest.

Very nice! Everybody take a bow!

--Tom

Welcome, One and All

2010-10-31T05:02:00.000-07:00

Happy Halloween to everyone!

This welcome plaque, wet from the rain, sits by our entrance. It's surrounded by colors of the season in leaves, flowers and a tiny pumpkin!

Tom thinks the only way the cat looks like him is in the chubby cheeks. He said to be sure to mention the little mouse at the very bottom.

Writing Romance in the Company of a Cat

2010-10-30T04:36:00.001-07:00

I was trying to remember how I got to the police station. I know I was pulled over, which scared the living bejesus out of me, but the cop was very nice. The only thing was, I didn't have any of the paperwork my dad would always scold me about losing. That's all I remember. Did I drive or did I go with the officer?

(cat tears through room, trilling and talking to itself)

He now stood before me in a small waiting area. The station was quiet and he was ready to head back out on patrol.

"Your car's outside," he said.

"Oh, it is, okay." I can't say I was overly miserable with this turn of events. Here was a handsome man in uniform, young, smiling and very accommodating. I wasn't that upset any more. I was almost disappointed to have my little adventure end.

>

He seemed to want to say something else, but hesitated.

"What is it?" I asked. "Did I forget something?"

"No." He paused. Then, he gave me a look that suggested an invitation, a hormone-driven, ready-to-explode invitation. His eyes looked into mine and I couldn't breathe.

I wanted to say something, but found myself glancing away. I was afraid of his eyes. I knew they would be looking into mine again when I returned my gaze to his.

They were.

"Let's go outside to your car," he suggested. "It's time for you to go."

I followed him out the front doors and down the steps to my car which I had parked off to the side. He reached for the doorhandle. As I was about to get in, he touched my sleeve.

(cat jumps down and goes to bowl of dry food)

"Can I ask you a question?" I was just inches from his face, the car door like armor between us. I said, "Sure."

And it came.

"Would you mind if I called you?"

(crunch, crunch)

He ran his fingers through his hair, black in the station floodlights, his eyes now cast in shadow but still seeing through me.

"I'd love that," I said softly, pretending not to notice a gold wedding band and lips that I was only bound to enjoy in my dreams.

(crunch, crunch, crunch)

"Good. I would really like that."

My look told him, so would I.

(cat leaves the room--it is peaceful)

I sat inside my vehicle as he shut the door. I rolled down the window. He leaned in and surprised me with a kiss on the cheek.

(cat enters cat box down the hall, scraping is heard, litter flung to the side)

I had just fallen in love. Hard.

As he walked away, I watched him. Oh, my.

He waved as I drove out of the lot.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I have no choice but to leave my attempt at romantic fantasy as the most noxious of fumes wafts toward me. I cannot believe this is happening. I am forced to drop what I'm doing and clean the box.

Cat has made it quite clear what he thinks of romantic notions and pulsing hearts!

--J.R. Mackenzie

Underground Jungle

2010-10-23T02:23:00.001-07:00

"It's a jungle out there," I think is how the expression goes. Well, whoever said that never thought about the jungle that is happening under our very noses.

I had a chance to get out a little bit this week. It was a beautiful day and I was busy enjoying the sunshine when I started hearing all sorts of noises and couldn't figure out where they were coming from. There was scratching and sounds of dropped rocks, chattering conversations, and animal burps, probably from eating acorns.

I had to investigate, of course, but not a single critter stuck his head out while I was watching, which disappointed me no end. I even hid, waiting. I guess they decided not to chance it and headed out somewhere else. It suddenly did get awfully quiet.

It's really quiet here. Now is the best time for me to post since I can't get near the computer during the week. If they only knew, hehehe!

It's been a couple of weeks since I ended a post with a joke, but before I tell you all a new one, I wanted to let you know that I've always been a big fan of the comedians on the old shows. I like Jackie Gleason, Red Skelton, Milton Berle and others I can't recall right now. What was so nice about them is they all shared their jokes with each other in the same spirit that I share this joke with you:

A man felt so bad after running over a cat with his car. He couldn't just leave the animal and go about his business, so he went up to the door of the house right where it happened and knocked. A woman answered and he apologized, "I'm so sorry, I just ran over your cat, but I'll be happy to replace it." She looked him over and said, "Well, hurry up, then, there's a mouse in the kitchen!"

--Tom

Temptation Friends

2010-10-16T03:14:00.000-07:00

Here you have the Spanky and our Gang of the Temptation Parish neighborhood. They all managed to get together for this photo, a real ragtag bunch if you ever saw one!

Let me introduce them from left to right: Beau(regard) who is black and white, Snifter, the cat showing just eyes and ears, Gloria, Max and Iggy. They are my friends and, unlike Vinny whom you've met already, these guys are more low-key. They're kept indoors and the most you might see them is when they get together for a Blessing of the Pets which was last year. Everybody brings their furry loved ones over and Jack and Will say prayers. The first time, Will had that thingamajiggie that flung water everywhere and the cats didn't care for that too much. Half of them went crazy and wound up in the shrubbery. The priests then wrapped it up and the dogs, of course, thought it was the best entertainment ever.

I don't want to forget to mention that Gloria, who lost her right eye, also has a mysterious past like me. I can't remember where I came from and neither can she.

Missing from the picture is Tinker, also part Maine Coon. He's an accomplished musician. He can play the cello as you can see..(hehehe)

Don't forget the late Shel Silverstein's birthday on Monday, the 18th. He wrote Where the Sidewalk Ends and The Giving Tree. I didn't know this, but he also wrote A Boy Named Sue for Johnny Cash.

I'm glad I have a nice, mancat name like Tom!

Beauty

2010-10-08T15:23:00.001-07:00

I just love this lady. She's one of our parishioners who submitted a photo for the church bulletin in our new section called Temptation People. Everybody likes it when there are chuckles in the aisles and sometimes having a funny-looking cat like me just isn't enough!

On the subject of how people look, I've always been a great admirer of feminine beauty. I've often wondered, though, about all of the things that women use as they seek perfection. At least, Mary Lou does. I can't even jump up on the bathroom counter without knocking over a bunch of stuff and getting into trouble. I feel like a bowling ball hitting some pins. What I've scrambled over includes masks for the face, moisturizers, eye cream, makeup of every description and a cream to take it all off again. There's hair spray and other stuff that smells like roses, happiness for all our noses.. There's hand lotion, foot lotion, lotion for the body, and cream for the elbows, knees and feet.. and swing your partner, do-si-do! hehehe..

Oh, well, me? I always smell good. Jack thinks I smell pampered. Moi?

It reminds me of the story about the model who was being interviewed. She was very pretty and looked to be a great candidate. When the interview was over, she was thanked and the man said, "Where can I get ahold of you?" "I don't know," she answered, "I'm awfully ticklish!"

--Tom

Hail to the Chief

2010-10-01T15:06:00.000-07:00

I love how brave Indians always look in their pictures, especially chiefs. For people who were rumored to be afraid of the camera, they adapted to the new contraption rather well. You could say they were even photogenic. Geronimo here looks very handsome and brave. He doesn't look as if he were ever afraid of anything--white man, buffalo or a Krispy Kreme franchise.

On the other hand, look at me here, not looking very pleased. If I remember right, I was hoisted rather unceremoniously under the ribcage, my fur every which way and pawing the air for dear life. I was miserable, but that's no excuse.

I promise to be a better sport in the future. Like Geronimo or Sitting Bull. I need to project the sort of face that is composed and fearless, instead of ticked off and ready to spit nails..

Wait a minute..hold everything. What am I talking about?

I just noticed something. The more I look at Geronimo, the more I realize he's ready to spit nails, too. He looks mad and just might use that rifle..

Aaah..Maybe I'm a lot like a chief, after all...

--Tom-Tom

My First of the Season

2010-09-26T09:57:00.001-07:00

No, he's not sleeping.

I am feeling a little triumphant today, even if it is Sunday, a day of rest. In the wee hours when all was quiet, I heard a sound all too familiar this time of year: the sound of intruders on little feet, venturing where they think a church cat is too much the reverend to give in to baser instincts.

Wrong.

A cat is still a cat, even if he's wearing a roman flea collar and this little guy was toast before you could say Hail Mary. I did ask myself what I was doing after the first pounce, but for him, that's all it took. I gave him his last rites and left him for the priests to find this morning.

"Well, well, well," I heard coming from the bathroom.

"I'm proud of you, Tom. We don't want them getting in and chewing things up in the rectory," said Will.

No we don't, I thought.

The beauty of this is, with one trophy, nobody'll be too concerned about the mice. The little critters will get the word, smell me and high-tail it somewhere else. Maybe over to the condos. For those of you who don't know, the condos are located in what used to be the parish school. You might remember Vinny lives over there.

I better remind him to sharpen his mouse-catching skills!

--Tom