Friday, October 19, 2012

My Job Interview and Job Hunting Tips for Cats

I decided this week I would help out a little around here by finding myself some part-time work, and I've come to the most interesting conclusion.

ANY JOB THAT INVOLVES STRING IS OUT




I thought I had a good chance at getting a job as a puppeteer. You laugh, but I'm telling you, I was a shoo-in.




I was good at manipulating string and I could make the parrot do anything I wanted it to do. After all, I was a cat, wasn't I?




The interviewer said I had remarkable skill with my paws, but it was the string that was holding me back, distracting me, making me want to play instead.




My furriends, I totally embarrassed myself. I was playing instead of auditioning for the job! I recovered by saying the whole thing should be a cat toy, anyway.





We shook paws and I left, but I learned a lesson. I wasn't going to be like the puppeteer in the Sound of Music...odlayeeeeoooooo, darn it.

Not if there are strings attached!

Here are some suggestions the next time you're out looking for work:

JOB HUNTING TIPS FOR CATS

1. Enter the reception area, meow your arrival, and take a seat. Do not sniff corners, chair legs or turn the butt toward the lady behind the desk.

2. Remember to bring phone numbers for references. No Twitter handles, blog nicknames, or names of best buds now in the slammer.

3. Wear a collar. This is expected. It should be conservative, indicate gender without any over the top flairs. And, this is not the time to play guess my after-shave.

4. Look intelligent. No funny faces or goofy smiles or Tickle Me Elmo imitations.

5. Get to your appointment on time. That means no alleys, no nip stops, and watch the fish breath.

Good luck!

--Tom

Pee ess: We might want to share some of this advice with our woofie furriends, too, hehe!


41 comments:

We love LUNA said...

Bonjour dear Tom
I'm here taking notes, thanks for all good hints!You are so clever and talented!
I wish you a nice weekend,
purrs and love
Luna

Kjelle Bus said...

SO sorry to hear that you didn´t make it as a puppeteer :(
I can see that you have some good skills there *mol*
Thank´s for the tips on how to be succesful when I search for work :)
Have a great weekend !

Angel MoMo's mom said...

Charlotte here. You are sooo funny! Mustn't let that SS see this, otherwise she would get it into her head that I need to find a job to earn my keep. I am doing just fine, thankyou.

The Paw Relations said...

That is all very good advice Tom and we agree with you, that parrot puppet should be a cat toy.

Nerissa said...

EXCELLENT tips there, my friend! As the puppet thing didn't work out, what's next on your list? Personally, I find we cats do extrememely well in supervisory positions. You know... 'cause we're so smart... 'cause we're cats and all. purrs

FURKIDSMOM said...

We're going to pass these tips on to our Mom since she's unemployed!!


The Florida Furkids

Mariodacat said...

Good advice pal. I'm going to save this cuz I probably should get a job too.
BTW - it's not your fault you did not get the job - afteraLL, whoever thought of giving out strings doesn't really know a cat anyway. I bet it was a D.O.G. in disguise and they tricked you!

Hannah and Lucy said...

Thank you for those helpful tips - they will be useful when we send Mum out to work.
Luv Hannah and Lucy xx xx

Hannah and Lucy said...

We are so sorry you didn't get the job - still never mind we are sure it was good experience and hopefully your tips for other cats wishing to work will bring in some much needed funds.
Luv Hannah and Lucy xx xx

Marilia said...

So beautiful!!!!!!

Cathy Keisha said...

HAH! This is funny, I mean GOOD advice. All my old furrrends are in the slammer. I guess that's not good news when it comes to innerviewing. BTW, should I gloss over the two jails I was in before I moved into my condo?

Random Felines said...

we can't believe you didn't get the job!!! good advice, but we think we are going to stick to sending mom out every day for the green papers

Prancer Pie said...

Great tootorial! We think a job that involves a lot of snoozin would be great. Hee-hee.

Tamago said...

Don't feel embarrassed, Tom. That happens a lot, I'm sure. Strings are too attractive not to play :-)
Your job hunting tips are great! Definitely no nip stops. We must be sober at the interview!

Avalons Garden and Mewsings of Garden Cottage Cats said...

Mieow Tom, you furry wize one indeed! ^..^ It iz da stringz dat are attached dat will get you Efurry time *sigh*
Ana haz a job.... she Garden Snoopervizer, and Gabriel iz Undercofur PI ....... maybe sumfin you might be good at ? ^..^

Should da rest ov us haz to get a job, we will keep your wize tipz in mind ^.,^

Purrz to ALL~
♥♥xoxoxo♥♥

Colehaus Cats said...

Good luck on continued job hunts. We're taking notes. No blingy collars - check, no Twitter or blog names - um, kind of check, no nip stops...oh, poo...gonna have to get a handle on this one. Purrs...

Sparkle said...

Great tips, Tom, but as you know, we kitties are more likely to be employers than employees - maybe I should do a list of things to look for when hiring a new human servant!

The Island Cats said...

Well, those are some great tips, Tom. And if we ever need to find a job, we'll try to remember them!

Ginger Jasper said...

Some very good tips there my pal..Sorry you didnt get the job but het what fun.. Hugs GJ xx

Julia Williams said...

I don't blame you for wanting to play with the string! Sounds like that job was a recipe for disaster, MOL.

Andrea and the Celestial Kitties said...

Watch the fish breath is good advice for everyone! MOL
I would think that any job involving string was not a good fit for kitties.. unless the job was specifically knotting them up so someone else can untangle them, now there's a job!

Shaggy and Scout said...

No nip stores or fish breath??!
Bah!
We know the priesthood doesn't pay royally, but be sure you don't take another job that might make YOU end up in the confessional.

dArtagnan Rumblepurr/Diego Hamlet Moonfur said...

Hey, aren't we supposed to make people work for US?

Brian said...

I appreciate all those might fine tips...just in case I ever decide to work MOL!!!

Maggie@shelter-cats said...

Good list. I would add, while waiting your turn in the reception area, don't do any last minute butt washing.

Cara n Crew said...

oh Tom! the string just wasn't playing fair. Tough break, tho we're sure you'll get em next time. Thanks for the job hunting tips. YoW! some of those look tough. Minnie wants to be a USDA Beagle so she's taken notes :) have a great weekend!

Pip, Smidgen, Minnie, HOllie

Mary said...

Thanks for the wonderful suggestions, Tom. You are brilliant as always. :) And you were very focused on the string, just in a different way than the job required. You'll have better luck next time! You're so talented and knowledgeable about stuff. Have a great weekend, sweetie! Hugs from Oregon.

Sherlock, Ash and Traveler said...

Oh Tom!! You are such a sweet and kind-hearted kitty and we are sorry to hear you didn't get the job :'(

Eileen said...

Good advice Tom, but we are confused. Why would you have to work part-time? Are the beans slacking off?

We think you should not work, because you're a cat. 'Nuf said. MOL

Sasha, Sami, & Saku

Katie and Glogirly said...

Those are excellent interviewing tips!
...But no flair? ...no string? and no FISH BREATH???

I think I'll just take a nap and let Glogirly do the working.

; ) Katie

Katz Tales said...

MOL, you are fun Tom. We must invest in a collar for those job opportunities!

The Cat From Hell said...

Cats don't WORK! We are worshipped!
Kisses
Nellie

CATachresis said...

Hmmm! Work is a four letter word!!! Just saying! ;)

Nice to meet you Tom. Re the Slammer. I think we might have the some of the same friends :)

Fisher and Staff said...

Great ideas, Tom. I am going to adjust them a little and stick them under staff persons nose so she might take the hint and go get a j-o-b.

Old Kitty said...

Wonderful Tom!! We hope you get the job!! You are by far the cutest, furriest and floofiest candidate for it! Yay!! Take care
x

cats of wildcat woods said...

We think you should have gotten the job!

meowmeowmans said...

Great tips, Tom! But your job is just to be a cat (and that is important work), so we think you should find a sunpuddle and call it a day. :)

Hugs to you all!

m.q said...

that was a good tips Tom
we sure gonna remember that

BoBo Salem
Meow Meow Family

Marg said...

Oh those are such great tips. We have written them all down. Hope you get the next job. That string looks good too. Take care.

michico*Adan said...

I can see you are having fun!!

Khyra And Sometimes Her Mom said...

Regarding your PEE ESS???

Pffffft!

Of khourse, I'm a WORKING breed -

End of diskhussion!

Hugz&Khysses,
Khyra