Friday, April 20, 2012

Healing Time



 It's been a very long week. 


Yesterday, I just worked in the garden, cleaning away the leaves to find shoots reaching for the sunlight. I was alone with no dog in sight, just my memories and a whisper of an inkling that he might be close.


Last weekend, I bought some pansies. Who can resist these faces in the garden center when there are a scillion of them begging you to take them home?






They'll be going into a special garden for Trapper. The kitties all wanted to be part of this, milling around, the Big Puss wanted to see if they were edible. I told him I wasn't sure, for cats, anyway.









I think Mitty misses Trapper the most, although all the kitties learned to live with their gentle giant of a dog furriend.





I love my Uncle Trapper!






I held my breath when they roughhoused, so there aren't any pictures of that, wanting to make sure Trapper didn't forget how big he was.


Although the pain is still deep and I feel it every minute, I'm also distracted with life and how it goes on, the comfort of feeling he's still with me somehow, and that the good Lord knew best.


Recently, I had started substitute teaching. I am so grateful that it didn't happen when I wasn't around. I can't even imagine what it would have been like to come home to him already passed without my being there, and how that would have felt for him.


Again, thank you for all of your love and prayers and caring. As so many of you have done in other sad times, you have been there to comfort and I am deeply grateful.

~~~~~~~~~


His ears were often the first thing to catch my tears.  (Tom has caught a few of them, too.)
--Elizabeth Barrett Browning








This has now made three pets gone to the Bridge in less than two years, their older age small consolation for the heartache. Trapper, along with the first Tom, had cancer.


~~~~~~

I'll be stopping by to visit you all in the next few days. (((((Hugs)))))

--Julie


45 comments:

Deb said...

Julie, I'm so sorry to hear of Trapper's passing. I just came to your blog after being unable to visit any for a few days. This must be so hard for you and I can't imagine losing your dog companion. I hope you find comfort in the fact that Trapper was so loved and knew it. How lucky he was to have had one home, one owner who loved him and many furry friends. So many dogs do not have that life. I hope his memories will soon have you smiling. I know he would want his lady to feel happy again. Hugs to you Julie. Deb

ArtemisiaFSS said...

We are so very sorry to learn that Trapper has gone to the Rainbow Bridge. Purrs of comfort for all of you.

FURKIDSMOM said...

It's always hard to lose a furkid. There is a big empty hole where they used to be and all the furries feel it as much as we do.

Did you decide to do an autopsy? I see you said Trapper had cancer. That would certainly explain the multiple seizures. (((Hugs)))

The Florida Furkids

Fuzzy Tales said...

Yes, we, too, caught the note that Trapper had cancer, so assume you went ahead with the autopsy. We hope it gives you a measure of peace, knowing there really was a terminal illness as the cause.

Continuing to send purrs and universal Light and Love.

(((Hugs)))

Mr. Pip said...

I am so sorry about Trapper. I am sure he is somewhere beautiful running free and watching over all of you.

Your pal, Pip

Cat said...

I am so deeply sorry to read that your gentle golden boy has gone to the bridge. It is so very hard when we lose our beloved companions and struggle to understand why. Please accept my heartfelt condolences, you and Trapper are in my prayers.

Mariodacat said...

It's hard Julie - so hard. But it gets easier over time. You will always love Trapperm,but maybe in time a new doggie can come and warm your hear too. Those pictures with a cat are just adorable. Hugs.

Katie Isabella said...

Sending more love and purrs and prayers Mom Julie. My mommy and the other mom' here know your pain. We would ease it if we can. xoxoxo

Shaggy and Scout said...

Gentle (((hugs))) to you Julie.
What a fine, handsome dog he was. The memorial garden sounds like a wonderful project, a way to focus your grief into something beautiful and positive. God bless you.-Lynne

~*Connie*~ said...

What a wonderful idea.. Giving you something physical to do and then something physical as a reminder when you are done.

and I just love that photo of them taste testing the pansies.. I've been considering buying some this year because I also love their little faces, I think I will now.. thank you.

The Cat From Hell said...

Life is so bitter sweet. We lost Licorice and Sam last year. We had already started a Licorice Memorial Garden and I found it so therapeutic. I can't wait to replant it this year.
Love Nellies Mom

Tamago said...

These pansies are beautiful. How wonderful to have special garden for Trapper. I love his pictures very much - such sweet, handsome boy. He will live forever in your heart and ours too. Sending warm thoughts and hugs to you..

Nerissa said...

Those pictures of Mitty and Trapper are adorable. They obviously loved each other very much.

As for Big Puss... I think pansies are edible. They are for peeps and I've seen my auntie Blossom chowing down on the violas the peep has in the sunroom twice. Okay, more than twice but the peep has only caught her at it the two times so I'm sticking with that!

Hannah and Lucy said...

Mum loves pansies - they are her favourite flowers and she loves their "faces". We hope you are feeling good about planting them and know he would have loved seeing them too.
We are sending more healing purrs
Luv Hannah and Lucy xx xx

Random Felines said...

It is hard - you keep expecting them to be there and experience the heartbreak all over when they aren't. It does get better - we promise.....

We love that picture of Mitty and Trapper....very adorable!

Brian said...

Big purrs and hugs from all of us.

Milo and Alfie Marshall said...

So sorry that beautiful Trapper had to pass on. Sending you all so much love, and purrs. RIP Trapper.

Milo and Alfie, and our mom. xx

Julia Williams said...

I am so very sorry for your loss of Trapper. I know such pain is not easy to bear, and will be sending you many healing purrs and prayers for this difficult time.

Sparkle said...

Purrs and headbutts to you.

Old Kitty said...

Dearest mum Julie. Me and Charlie continue to send you all comfort hugs and purrs. These flowers are so pretty for your Angel's special garden. Take care
x

Julie Baugh said...

I was sorry to hear about the loss of Trapper, but the garden is a good way to pay tribute to him. We lost our elderly cat last year and I remember how that felt. Sending you hugs.

Cara n Crew said...

Losing a loved family member is never easy, no matter the circumstances. The pictures of Mitty and Trapper together are adorable. Thanks for sharing. Trapper will always be in your heart :) keeping you and the kittties in my prayers :)

Cara, Pip, Smidgen, Minnie, Hollie, and Wriggley

Ginger Jasper said...

Its not easy and you will be hurting so. I am glad that you have kitties to give hugs and purrs to help a little. I add my purrs to theirs. Hugs GJ xx

Andrea and the Celestial Kitties said...

Aw, that's going to be a beautiful garden and tribute to such a good furry friend. hugs!

Avalons Garden and Mewsings of Garden Cottage Cats said...

We love the pictures of Trapper & Mitty :) Your Trapper was a very good boy :) and certainly Beautiful~ We are very glad that you have Tom Mitty & Anastasia to help you thru this heartbreakingly sad time. The garden in Trapper's memory is a beautiful idea.
We made a garden in memory of Morgana, and planted a Lilac tree for her. She passed when the Lilacs were in bloom ........
Hugs from mom, and Soft kitty purrz & kissez ~ xoxoxo

Cats of Wildcat Woods said...

I just saw this and am so so sorry to hear of Trapper's passing. You were with him right at the end and that is a gift as hard as it is on you now. He could easily have been home alone. Sending lots of healing light and love to you in your loss.

Cathy Keisha said...

Maybe Mitty can help you heal since he's hurting too. Sendng gentle purrs your way.

Jan's Funny Farm said...

A garden for Trapper is such a lovely idea. And the pansies are so pretty.

It is hard to adjust when one leaves. Lots of pawhugs!

Anonymous said...

We're so sorry that Trapper has gone. A beautiful soul and so gentle with the kitties. Love seeing Mitty snuggle with him. Such lovely memories and we hope they comfort you.

Lizzie & 3 kitties

Rumpydog said...

Your family continues to be in my prayers as you grieve. When Sage left us I was so upset about how the others were taking it. We're all here for you. xxx

meowmeowmans said...

Julie, we got your email, and are glad our card reached you. Know that we are here if you need anything, if even just to talk. Hugs, purrs and prayers from all of us.

Cindy said...

Beautiful pictures and memories.

Tooki said...

I am so, so sorry. My eyes weep for you. I dread the day when this will happen to me....God will comfort us.

Marg said...

WE are sending many more purrs and woofs to you Julie. We know how much it hurts to lost a fur animal. Big hugs to you too. Just know that he had a wonderful life there with you.

Katie and Glogirly said...

Oh Julie...the first photo of his scarf and collar gave me goosebumps. When I was younger we had a sweetheart dog named Brandy. My dad adored him....but my dad didn't often show how sentimental he was. ...you know, a manly thing. Years later, after my dad passed away, I was going through his things and found Brandy's collar. He had kept it for over 30 years. Still chokes me up.

I'm so happy to see you have endless memories of your special pal.

love, Glogirly

Gracie =^o.o^= said...

I am have been out of touch for a while and so sorry to hear of Trapper's passing. My heart is heavy and know that you will keep Trapper close to you in your thoughts and prayers. Love to all at your place.

Kjelle Bus said...

Me and mom are so sorry to hear about Trapper´s passing :(
Sending comfort huggies <3

Team Tabby said...

Trapper's Garden is a wonderful tribute and good to hear the kitties were there with you while you worked.

Clooney said...

Mom Julie, that is a beautiful post. Our continued gentle purrs and thoughts of love to you and the kitties. Neytiri sends you all kitty kisses.

ellie said...

Beautiful pictures of Trapper and Mitty, looking so loving :) Those lovely pansies will make a pretty garden. Sending you warmth and smiles. God bless :)

Madi and Mom said...

Father Tom, Mom and sibs....what a beautiful thing to plant pansies in a special place for Trapper. Mom says pansies always have a smile on their faces. Surely that will remind you of Trapper's big Golden smile each time you look at them.
Hugs Madi and MOm

Oui Oui said...

Unfortunately, the pain will probably always be there. It just won't be as intense. In time, a new dog to honor Trapper would be lovely. So many are waiting for a good home. Bright little pansy faces are perfect.

Tamago said...

Hi Julie, just stopping by to say hello. Pansies must be very beautiful and smiling brightly in the Trapper's garden. Our continued prayers and warm thoughts to you...we hope you are feeling better each day.

The Lee County Clowder said...

Just dropping in to say HI and give you all a few more purrrrrrsss and headbonks. Gotta love those photos of the kittie using the woofer as a pillow.

sagechronicles said...

What a beautiful tribute to a gorgeous Trapper. It's a wonder how those little kitties get so attached to 'their' dogs. My kitties sure miss Toby...Sage isn't there yet :).