Notes from a parish cat and his author Julie Mackenzie

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I am Father Tom Fish, esteemed member of the religious team at Temptation of Christ Parish in the novels by author Julie Mackenzie. As to my background, I was invited into the rectory as a stray, laid on the charm, and was invited to stay, even honorarily ordained and no less spiritual than my sidekick Father Will. He dotes on me to high heaven and forgives all of my street cat proclivities, whatever the hell that means.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Tom's Short Story

As everyone knows, we had a "Take Your Pet to Work Day."

There was only one problem. My writer human got confused. She thought it was "PUT Your Pet to Work." I didn't know any different. My not-a-care-in-the-world life turned into a day-long sweatshop.



I'm so disgusted, tired and overworked. I didn't get my break--okay, breaks. My lunch was late. I couldn't snack. There were no toys. All I did all day long was work, work, work.



Finally, after being hunched over the keyboard, suffering from catmal toenail sin-drome, editing over and over with only a bowl of holy water for sustenance, my short story was finished. And, when I say short, I mean cat short.



Here it is:

Once upon a time in a cat box far, far away, there lived a gnome. He was lucky because the box he lived in was always kept immaculately clean. He didn't know why, but he liked living in gravel. He was about the size of cat poop. Only trouble was, when the box was cleaned, he was scooped out, too. He didn't know what to do. Then, he got a bright idea. He would wear a bright, red hat! That way, he would be undisturbed.

That's why, to this day, gnomes wear little red hats!



What do you think?

--Tom

20 comments:

Deb said...

You crack me up, Tom.

T said...

oh dear! someone call animal social services!!!! the humanity!

Mr Puddy said...

Please don't tell me my litter box used to has a gnome !
Because in a cat box far, far away might be my litter box !!!!!
I think from now on, I never ever do n my cat box but garden ..That's scary my ass !!!

Avalon's Garden and Mewsings of Garden Cottage Cats said...

BWAAAHAHAHAHAHA......MOL ,,, Datz fury funny Tom! ,,,
but we sorry you had to slave so hard ofur dat wit nuthin but Holy Water...... dat jus ain't Right ^..^
Hopez you have a Peaceful weekend ~
Purrrz Bud ~

Summer at sparklecat.com said...

That was very mean of your human to make you work like that. My human works like that because I make her, but it does NOT go the other way 'round.

Fuzzy Tales said...

Haha! Very creative, Tom! But boy, we're glad we don't go to work with our mom...BOR-ING!

Brian's Home Blog said...

HeeHee, thanks for letting us in on the scoop Tom! Have a great weekend!

Hannah and Lucy said...

We don't have to worry about going to work with mum because she just looks after us - so you can see she has absolutely nothing to do!
Luv Hannah and Lucy xx xx

The Florida Furkids said...

We're MOL!!

The Florida Furkids and Angel Sniffie

Quill and Greyson said...

Nice. Yes work does stink!

Katnip Lounge said...

hmmm. Mommy says she needs to look at our boxes more closely...

Marg said...

Oh gosh, wonder if we have knomes in our boxes. Love that story Tom. It is excellent. Thanks for the smile today.

The Island Cats said...

That's a great story, Tom!! We're gonna go check our box for gnomes right now!

Angel Prancer Pie said...

Great story! Mom really likes your blog. We saw you over at Hannah and Lucy's. Sorry you had to work so hard. Maybe a lil "surprise package" might be in order! MOL! Purrs from Prancer.

Pee Ess - We're following you now. See you back here.

Unknown said...

Oh dear. That explains my little brother Wart's problem. I may have to de-hat a gnome today. Your story is brilliant. Full of suspense that has touched a lot of kitties. (no pun intended) Great work, Tom!
Your friend, Fisher

Tamago said...

Heh heh I love your short story. I wonder if we got gnomes here :-)
I am so sorry that you had to work hard!

Fr. Tom Fish said...

Well, here we are in our usual Sunday afternoon wrap-up spot. I'm glad you all liked my story. I wish I could say it was fun to write *ahem* !
No, it was.

I appreciate all the comments and enjoyed each and every one. Once again, it goes to show that a post can be funny, but the reactions make it complete (even the ones I didn't see).

Have a good week and remember..keep the fur tucked in!

Oskar said...

Well there's one mystery solved!

Nubbin wiggles,
Oskar

Elizabeth Keene said...

We love your story, Tom, but we do NOT like gnomes. They should take off their hats. :)

Have a good day!

Jon Farleigh, Dewi and Elizabeth

meowmeowmans said...

MOL. Tom, you are one funny dude! This *does* explain a lot, though, because we always did wonder about those gnome hats! :)

Hugs to you and Julie!